Questions from Wild at Heart Field Manual Chapter One.
[T]hink back again to the movies roles you'd love to play - who are the damsels you'd love to rescue?
I didn't list Braveheart in my original list but I always imagined myself rescuing the woman who was Wallace's wife. When I watch the scene where she is killed I am filled with indescribable rage and I cheer like a mad man when Wallace returns to get his revenge.
As I think about that scene I realize that here was a beauty to rescue and he failed. His heart is broken by this and the remainder of the movie is him trying to make things right. He was drawn into the larger story when the larger story affected his life. As a husband and father, I feel like I too am being compelled to fight in a larger story since my family is under attack. I have not only my wife to defend and rescue but my children as well.
And, recalling the daydream about three months of free time and anything you could do, would the months really be everything you desire if there were only adventure but never a beautiful woman as part of the adventure?
Sure, I can imagine and answer but it doesn't help me where I am today. If, today, I were able to take those three months away much of that time would be interceding on behalf of my wife. I would be going away not just for the adventure but to mature so that I can more nobly be the man that she deserves.
As I prepare for the Wilderness Outreach Retreat this summer this theme tends to keep popping up. I ask myself, or rather God asks me, "what do you want out of this?" My answer is always, "to mature, to learn to be a man." I feel as though I am missing something in my masculinity. I feel as though something was stolen from me in my youth that has stunted my emotional and spiritual growth as a man. In short, I am tired of feeling like an 8th grader trapped in a 37 year-old body. There is something missing and I hope to find it on this retreat, not simply for myself - which would bring a great deal of healing to me personally - but for my wife and family; they deserve more, they deserve a father who is more of a man than he is today.
What stirs inside you when you look upon the daughters of Eve?
There are times when I look women and I am completely in awe. It is a similar feeling to when I first see a beautiful waterfall, vista, or sunset. My breath is literally taken away. There are times when I look at my wife and I am nearly brought to tears thinking of how fearfully and wonderfully made she is. I am in awe of her external and internal beauty.
And have you sensed that, at its core, your passion to rescue the Beauty is a good thing, part of your destiny?
I believe it is a good thing. However, I also believe that that desire has been twisted by the culture that I live in. That passion to rescue the beauty, to be her hero has been distorted in myself, and others, into a selfish desire to win her without loving who she is. In other words, it is a desire to ravish her without fighting for her. In reality, this is the desire of the men in our culture. If many of them were forced to fight for her in order to win her, they would simply walk away and say it's not worth the effort. We have allowed this to happen in many ways contraception not being the least of the handicaps.