The Mountain of the Lord

Re-post from my other blog.

The Psalmist asks, "How can I repay the Lord for all the good done for me?"  I echo that question.  How indeed?  This year I had the opportunity to once again travel to the American West with Wilderness Outreach on an expedition to build and repair hiking trails.

Mt. Shinn & Lake Florence

The trip this year took me to the High Sierra Mountain Range in California.  It was one of the most demanding and physically difficult things I have ever done in my life.  With a 7+ mile hike in and a climb of nearly 3000' in elevation, the work seemed easy in comparison to the hike.

This trip was also one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.  I went on the trip looking for God, asking Him to reveal Himself to me.  In the end, I realized that it was He calling me to this far away place so that He might reveal me to myself.  As the Second Vatican Council put it, "Christ..., fully reveals man to man himself and makes his supreme calling clear." (Gaudium et Spes 22)  I learned that the problem is not that I don't understand or know God very well but rather that I don't know myself well enough.  He brought me to the mountains to reveal to me my weaknesses, my faults, my sins, and how He wants to heal them.

It was through this trip, this work, these hikes, this physical adventure that God taught me about my spiritual life.  I learned that the spiritual life is like life on the trail.  As the trail has steep, difficult terrain, so does the spiritual life.  It is during times of suffering and struggle that I am ascending toward God, toward the heights of Heaven.  It is often during times of laziness, and seeking an easy way out that I am descending away from God, away from the heights of sanctity.  I learned that just as the views on the trail (pictures below) are not given but must be earned.  Ascending to the God is not given, it must be earned.  

John Bradford of Wilderness Outreach 

Now, please don't misunderstand.  All that God gives is a free gift.  Grace is a free gift just as the mountains are a free gift.  Both are there for me but there is no easy shortcut.  I cannot parachute onto the top of a mountain and feel as though I belong there.  I cannot say a simple prayer and feel as though I deserve eternity with God.  God is a loving father and as such He demands that I grow, mature, struggle, fight, and become strong. The Psalmist points this out in many places, "LORD, who may abide in your tent?  Who may dwell on your holy mountain?  Whoever walks without blame, doing what is right, speaking truth from the heart; Who does not slander with his tongue, does no harm to a friend, never defames a neighbor; Who disdains the wicked, but honors those who fear the LORD; Who keeps an oath despite the cost, lends no money at interest, accepts no bribe against the innocent" (Psalm 15)  The mountain of the Lord in the Psalm is a free gift, but only those who meet the requirements can accept that gift.

Another thing I learned on the trail is that God wants me to accept that He allows those struggles to come my way.  In the book, Abandonment to Divine Providence, Fr. Caussade mentions a phrase that stuck with me during my trip, "Living the sacrament of the moment."  This helped me realize that God's grace is pouring on me like a constant rain every moment of my life.  Sometimes the rain makes me miserable, sometimes it fills me with joy.  So it is with God's grace.  His providence may, at times, make me miserable, like when I am suffering.  Living the sacrament of the moment helps me realize that though I may be suffering, it wouldn't be happening if God didn't will it for my salvation.  As Fr. Caussade says elsewhere, "What God arranges for us to experience at each moment is the best and holiest thing that could ever happen to us."

I could go on about the lessons learned on the trail but I will save those for another time.  For now, I'll share the beauty that God gave to us during that week.  How shall I repay the Lord?  I really don't know.  I guess I can start by reminding myself daily of the difficult but worthwhile lessons learned so that I don't slide back down the mountain.

Me at 10,000'

Sally Keyes Lakes

Marie Lakes looking north from Selden Pass

Daily Mass on the mountain.

A Walk on the Wild Side

I believe that there is a natural desire in men (and boys) for adventure. Danger, the unknown, exploration, all tug at the hearts of men. Every week my sons ask me to take them up into the little patch of woods behind our house that is no bigger than an acre. To them though, it is a serious adventure. It is probably all the more so since we don't allow them to go there by themselves yet. They beg to go to my grandparents piece of property on the other side of the county that is over 300 acres. Adventure seems to be in the DNA.

I agree with John Eldredge, God created man wild, and that's a good thing. The wildness of man has made possible all that we have today. His sense of adventure has led us to new lands and new frontiers. Man's quest for knowledge has given us the Internet (maybe not the best example) and modern medicines that basically eliminate sicknesses that once destroyed so many lives. Saint Irenaeus said that, "The glory of God is man fully alive." Man is most fully alive when he is living some sort of adventure, pursuing danger or greatness which are often intertwined, and making his way through an untamed world, and that, in my mind, is the glory of God.

Is it any wonder so many men are walking dead in our day? Our opportunities for real adventure have all but disappeared. My heart yearns for adventure when I read of Lewis & Clark, Teddy Roosevelt, and Kit Carson. I ache with a desire to find unchartered lands, dangerous jungles, and snow-capped mountains.

Now some may argue that getting married, raising children, and guiding a family is an adventure in itself. Others may argue the same about the religious life. I cannot argue. They too are adventures. However, it is a different animal altogether. It does not, for me at least, address the desire for clean air, danger, physical exertion, and natural peace. However, these "adventures" are not opposed. I have found that giving myself over to the adventures of the wild make me that much more prepared for the adventure of family. If I can survive on a mountainside with my wits and strength, I can deal with mountains of diapers and avalanches of homework!

What if you had the opportunity to do something really wild? What if you had the chance to go into wild country and test your mettle? Would you do it? Would you go? Would you put yourself, your manhood, your wildness to the test? What if I promised you that if you went, you would be a better husband, father, priest, deacon, or seminarian, and a better man?

Wilderness Outreach provides just that sort of opportunity and adventure. It is NOT a retreat in the traditional sense of the word. It truly is an expedition, an adventure not only into the wildness of the American West but also into the wildness of your heart. There, in the mountains, you will wrestle with your weaknesses and there, in the mountains, you will wrestle with God. If you have the desire to become "fully alive" as St. Irenaeus says, embrace your wild side, prepare your mind, heart, and body and then join a Wilderness Outreach Expedition!

Burpees with Christopher and me.

Here is video of Christopher and me doing some burpees for the guys at Wilderness Outreach. Check out the Wilderness Outreach website and join us on Facebook.

Wilderness Outreach Program

This is the group I went with to NM this summer. It is a Catholic Men's group.

The Altar of Work, The Altar of Sacrifice

This is part two in a series of articles about the adventures of those who participated in the expedition. Wilderness Outreach is part of the lay apostolate for advancing masculine spirituality that is funded by the John N. and Laura E. Bradford Donor advised fund of the Catholic Foundation.

By John and Laura Bradford

“They deliberated what might be done with the altar of holocausts that had been desecrated. The happy thought came to them to tear it down, lest it be a lasting shame to them that the Gentiles had defiled it; so they tore down the altar. They stored the stones in a suitable place on the temple hill, until a prophet should come and decide what to do with them. Then they took uncut stones, according to the law, and built a new altar like the former one.”

Macabees Chapter 4

The first and most important act that occurs during a Wilderness Outreach expedition is the locating of the sanctuary and building the altar on that spot. The location is picked because it feels right, it faces east and has a profound view. Then the work of building the Altar begins. It proceeds with minimal discussion and debate. Each man participates in finding logs or rocks to build this holy structure. Some materials are chosen, some are not. Sometimes some of the Altar is removed and re-built. It is a silent, respect-filled endeavor. This will be the altar of sacrifice, where for a week, the men will come to daily Mass after a long day of back-breaking work. The altar is where they offer their sacrifice of work and suffering and receive nourishment of the Body and Blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

And miracles do occur in the process of building this altar. During the trip to the High Sierras in 2007, the base of the altar had been laid….all individually selected, hand placed stones. The strongest men of the team had found a 400 pound stone for the Mensa, but the team could not lift it. They gave up to look for a less weighty stone. Justin Bennett, one of the youngest of the group, refused to give up on the stone, approached it and with the determination of a power lifter picked one end of the stone up to his waist. He challenged his brothers “C’mon men”!. With Justin’s urging the stone was lifted and then carried and placed on the foundation of the altar.

Another miracle occurred at Divide Lake in the Idaho Panhandle National Forest in August of 2008. After the men reached and set up base camp Father Coning announced that a place for the Sanctuary and the Altar was needed and it needed to be a spiritual place a place for God. Jeff McKenna’s eye was drawn to a ridge about 600 feet above the base camp. He petitioned the men one at a time. Some liked the idea, but others didn’t. It would mean climbing another 600 feet at the end each day of backbreaking trail work. Finally Jeff convinced all the men to walk up to the ridge top together and look at the site. When the men arrived together with Father it was obvious. Father announced “This is the location of our Sanctuary and where we will build the Altar”. It was a beautiful setting framed by lodge pole pines on the south, a rock knoll on the west (perfect for sanctuary seating), Bald Mountain on the north and view of 50 miles to the east. The next morning the men began building the Altar. On the way out of base camp it was discovered that Steve Petesch, of the US Forest Service, was Catholic and he was invited to help build Altar. Each man started searching for, carrying and placing rocks in the Altar. Steve went off to search for his stone. He spied a large flat stone. When he picked the stone up he realized that there was a biblical verse, John 3:17, written on the underside.

“For God sent not his Son into the world
to condemn the world
but that the world through Him
might be Saved”

Steve had found a stone that was written on by “The Shepherd” who roamed the mountains of Idaho, in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Most of the “Shepherd’s” Biblical rock paintings had been lost to the ravages of weather and time. The legend of the shepherd had actually placed him about 30 miles from this location. Could “The Shepherd” have ever imagined that his silent prayer and writing would someday be incorporated into an outdoor altar and sanctuary?
As is customary at the end of a Wilderness Outreach expedition, the altar was respectfully dismantled placing each stone back into its natural setting. Steve also returned the “Shepherd’s Rock” in the same place he found it, face down, protected and hidden from the elements but forever treasured in the hearts and memories of the Wilderness Outreach Idaho Band of Brothers.

The men of Wilderness Outreach are rocks of faith, they are the foundation upon which the church of the future is being built….with Christ as the cornerstone.

Wilderness Expedition Uncovers Inner Strength

This is part one in a series of articles about the adventures of those who participated in the expedition. Wilderness Outreach is part of the lay apostolate for advancing masculine spirituality that is funded by the John N. and Laura E. Bradford Donor advised fund of the Catholic Foundation.

By John and Laura Bradford

As Father Bill Hahn Pastor of St Peter Chillicothe and St Mary Waverly parishes reclined in the 747 on his way to New Mexico, he closed his eyes and envisioned the retreat he was about to lead as chaplain. He knew it would be different from any other retreat. He would be in a remote part of the country, in the backwoods of the Gila National forest. He would be working along side young men rebuilding trails for the forest service. He would celebrate Mass out of doors, amidst God’s creation. He imagined himself, on the mountain, among cathedral-high trees, looking out across the landscape to see a better view of life, himself, and the future that God had in store for him. The weight of his backpack symbolized the weight of the responsibilities, concerns and distractions of everyday life, the weight that he longed to shed for 11 days so he could draw closer to Our Lord.

For those 11 days, Father Hahn and 9 men shed their inordinate attachments. To the busy life, to cell phones, to all of the amenities that we enjoy in the modern life such as delicious food, water from a tap, flush toilets. The asceticism may seem to extreme to many, but to these men it was essential to step away, like John the Baptist, to go into the wilderness and make straight the path of the Lord. It was essential for their spiritual growth.

The expedition began with 8 miles of trail that was blocked by fallen trees. The only way to get back in to the forest was to backpack and carry tents, sleeping bags and the hand tools and food and water that they would need to do the work for the US Forest Service. Not even horse packers could penetrate the forest at this location. So after being certified in cross cut sawing the men set off and hiked.

After two days of hiking and grueling work, Father Hahn felt the pain. Searing pain at his heal. A burning, raw type pain: “I found myself weak and vulnerable”, I was at a point that I could not hike or work. I felt like I, as a man, was letting down my band of brothers. I had to struggle with the masculine concept of self worth, of contributing to the team. What I thought was an obstacle was really a blessing. My desire was to work side by side these men, my brothers. However, through quiet listening in prayer I discerned that God’s work for me was to be Chaplain. That in order to sustain my brothers I had to remain in prayer and the only way God could get that through to me was to allow me to have these blisters. So, I became more open to God and through the work of the Holy Spirit I was able to serve Him and the men.

My band of brothers surrounded me with support and encouragement. They had an authentic spirituality that lifted me. And when I celebrated Mass I could feel their reverence. These men are moving quite far in their spiritual path and it was a privilege for me to be able to bring the sacraments to them in the wilderness.


Not every man or priest is designed for this experience, but if you are it gives you an opportunity to retreat to the mountains, to simplify life, to get away from the artificiality of the world, to be with a band of brothers, to be a spiritual father. It also helps you grow in your own masculinity. During seminary, you have a band of brothers that challenges you physically, intellectually, and spiritually. As a priest moves into the parish, the need for this camaraderie does not diminish.

This experience was a victory. The victory of staying back and not working and staying in prayer with our Lord. And that is why my tool is the cross, it is the tool of suffering, and a tool of joy…because it is from Christ that I received the grace to endeavor in His work.”

Father Hahn and 8 men from St. Paul’s outreach joined John Bradford on the second wilderness outreach expedition. Wilderness Outreach is part of the Lay Apostolate for advancing masculine spirituality that is funded by the John N. and Laura E. Bradford Donor advised fund of the Catholic Foundation