A Wild Catholic Heart

The Mountain of the Lord

2011-09-15T15:01:00.001-04:00

Re-post from my other blog.

The Psalmist asks, "How can I repay the Lord for all the good done for me?" I echo that question. How indeed? This year I had the opportunity to once again travel to the American West with Wilderness Outreach on an expedition to build and repair hiking trails.

Mt. Shinn & Lake Florence

The trip this year took me to the High Sierra Mountain Range in California. It was one of the most demanding and physically difficult things I have ever done in my life. With a 7+ mile hike in and a climb of nearly 3000' in elevation, the work seemed easy in comparison to the hike.

This trip was also one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I went on the trip looking for God, asking Him to reveal Himself to me. In the end, I realized that it was He calling me to this far away place so that He might reveal me to myself. As the Second Vatican Council put it, "Christ..., fully reveals man to man himself and makes his supreme calling clear." (Gaudium et Spes 22) I learned that the problem is not that I don't understand or know God very well but rather that I don't know myself well enough. He brought me to the mountains to reveal to me my weaknesses, my faults, my sins, and how He wants to heal them.

It was through this trip, this work, these hikes, this physical adventure that God taught me about my spiritual life. I learned that the spiritual life is like life on the trail. As the trail has steep, difficult terrain, so does the spiritual life. It is during times of suffering and struggle that I am ascending toward God, toward the heights of Heaven. It is often during times of laziness, and seeking an easy way out that I am descending away from God, away from the heights of sanctity. I learned that just as the views on the trail (pictures below) are not given but must be earned. Ascending to the God is not given, it must be earned.

John Bradford of Wilderness Outreach

Now, please don't misunderstand. All that God gives is a free gift. Grace is a free gift just as the mountains are a free gift. Both are there for me but there is no easy shortcut. I cannot parachute onto the top of a mountain and feel as though I belong there. I cannot say a simple prayer and feel as though I deserve eternity with God. God is a loving father and as such He demands that I grow, mature, struggle, fight, and become strong. The Psalmist points this out in many places, "LORD, who may abide in your tent? Who may dwell on your holy mountain? Whoever walks without blame,doing what is right, speaking truth from the heart; Who does not slander with his tongue, does no harm to a friend, never defames a neighbor; Who disdains the wicked, but honors those who fear the LORD; Who keeps an oath despite the cost, lends no money at interest,accepts no bribe against the innocent" (Psalm 15) The mountain of the Lord in the Psalm is a free gift, but only those who meet the requirements can accept that gift.

Another thing I learned on the trail is that God wants me to accept that He allows those struggles to come my way. In the book, Abandonment to Divine Providence, Fr. Caussade mentions a phrase that stuck with me during my trip, "Living the sacrament of the moment." This helped me realize that God's grace is pouring on me like a constant rain every moment of my life. Sometimes the rain makes me miserable, sometimes it fills me with joy. So it is with God's grace. His providence may, at times, make me miserable, like when I am suffering. Living the sacrament of the moment helps me realize that though I may be suffering, it wouldn't be happening if God didn't will it for my salvation. As Fr. Caussade says elsewhere, "What God arranges for us to experience at each moment is the best and holiest thing that could ever happen to us."

I could go on about the lessons learned on the trail but I will save those for another time. For now, I'll share the beauty that God gave to us during that week. How shall I repay the Lord? I really don't know. I guess I can start by reminding myself daily of the difficult but worthwhile lessons learned so that I don't slide back down the mountain.

Me at 10,000'

Sally Keyes Lakes

Marie Lakes looking north from Selden Pass

Daily Mass on the mountain.

Rabbit Hunting

2011-02-13T17:13:00.000-05:00

My dad and I took the two oldest boys out rabbit hunting on Saturday for a little while. We only kicked up one rabbit and Tony (the beagle) ran it for a while. He brought it right by A but he couldn't get his gun cocked fast enough. We'll have to work on that I think. Anyway, here are some pictures from the outing. If you are rabbit hunter, or any hunter for that matter, I highly recommend The Everlasting Stream. It is a great book.

Dad and the boys.

The north side of the hill.

C looking tough.

Dad and the boys heading to the top.

Controlled Power

2011-02-08T15:05:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite activities is wrestling with my boys. In fact, I often write it on my calender to make sure I don't leave it out during the week.

Our wrestling takes one of three forms. First there is the horse / bull ride where the boys hop on my back and hold on for dear life. This always gets the most laughs but trust me, the laughs are not coming from my knees. Second, there is the one-on-one match where I let each boy in turn push me around and then I fling them around. This give and take goes on for some time until I allow them to pin me to the floor. When I sit up after a match, I have to be ready because the next boy is ready to pounce. After wrestling each of the four boys twice, this old man is ready for bed. Third, there is the everyone-against-dad match. I usually prompt this match with a promise of dessert or candy if they can get me down. It's all fun and games and I keep the upper hand, that is, until they decide to work together. It is then that the real struggle begins.

Last week the boys asked if they could wrestle each other. They are too young to pull dirty tricks so the only rule that I made was that they had to start from their knees. I came up with this rule because I know how they can start swinging each other around and I could easily see someone being thrown through a French Door.

The two oldest wrestled first and the younger pinned the older after about 5 minutes of wrestling on the floor. Next the younger two wrestled and the younger one again pinned the older. They all wanted to wrestle one more time and I agreed. This second match with the older two went on for an eternity until finally the younger one once again pinned his older brother. This was more than the older one could take and he exploded all over me with shouts of injustice. "I wasn't down. You weren't watching when I had him down two minutes ago. I'm never doing this again," and on and on. I sent him into the mud room to cool down. After a few minutes I had a good talk with him about controlling himself. That is, after all, why we are wrestling in the first place.

I wrestle with my boys to show them that they have incredible strength and that they must learn to control that strength. I help them to realize that I could easily pummel each and every one of them but I don't. I am in control, at all times, even when they get a shot in that fattens my lip, knocks my glasses off, or draws blood. I control my strength, my body, my temper, my mind, my heart. I have the control. I hope that through wrestling and other activities they will realize that they too have great power, explosive power, but it must be controlled. I hope to teach them that there are times to unleash that power and there are times to suppress that power but each and every time it must be controlled by them. God has given them this gift and it is my job to teach them the proper use of the gift.

River of Doubt

2011-02-02T06:31:00.000-05:00

Lately I have become a huge fan of Theodore Roosevelt. I can't imagine any of our modern presidents being like him but I think it would do a world of good for the country if they had some of his qualities.

Through my reading I have, in an unplanned way, followed a great deal of his life. Much of what I have read has overlapped but each author gives his or her own view and helps fill in the gaps. The first book that I read, Mornings on Horseback, by one of my favorite authors, David McCullough, chronicles the early life of Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt. Though a weak and sickly child, he transformed his mind and body, at the inspiration of his father, into a strong, rugged man physically and intellectually. Today, in a world where excuses abound this is a refreshing story of what man can do when he puts his mind, and body, to it.

Last month I began reading The Big Burn: Teddy Roosevelt and the Fire that Saved America. I began reading this book primarily to become familiar with the United States Forest Service and the men who created it. I was very much surprised to learn of the pivotal role that President Roosevelt played in forming and building the Service. This book showed me that TR wasn't loved by everyone. I was shocked to learn that in the early 1900's conservation was frowned upon by most of the country. I found it ironic that the conservation movement was begun by this Republican President.

Recently I finished what so far has been the most gripping, heartbreaking, and spellbinding story of Theodore Roosevelt. The River of Doubt: Theodore Roosevelt's Darkest Journey chronicles his journey and quest for adventure on an, up to then, unchartered river deep in the Amazon Jungle. The River of Doubt begins with Roosevelt's failed bid for a third term as President. Even though he was loved by most of the country, he was rejected by his own party in this bid for re-election. He soon became the leader of a third party, The Progressive Party, or Bull-Moose Party as it was commonly known.

Reeling from this loss and betrayal, he decided to challenge himself, as he often did, to conquer not only something unknown, but also his own depression that resulted from the loss. The River of Doubt follows Roosevelt from a speaking tour in Brazil to the headwaters of the Rio da Dúvida (River of Doubt) to its end in the Amazon River. Along the way, Roosevelt, his son Kermit, Candido Rondon, the famed Brazilian explorer and officer, and many other men faced the perils of the river, the forest, and the frailty of humanity.

What began as a scientific exploration to map and chronicle a never before navigated river quickly became a 2 month fight for survival. The men faced bone, and canoe, crushing rapids in the river along with flesh eating fish and dangerous parasitic organisms. The jungle on either side of the river didn't offer much help either. Camouflaged in the lush green of the jungle were poisonous snakes and frogs, wild animals, and disease carrying mosquitoes. To add to the danger, the expedition is followed through much of their journey by a tribe of native Indians, armed with poison arrows and concealed by the jungle, ready to end the journey down the river. What began as a journey to explore the unknown and perhaps assuage the President's pride became the fight of his life and surly his darkest journey.

This book is not only an excellent story of the expedition but the author also weaves in a great deal of background information as well as scientific information that makes for an informative as well as entertaining read. I highly recommend The River of Doubt!

I'm Officially Old

2011-01-27T13:47:00.000-05:00

In less than 6 weeks I will turn 39 years old. I am older than my wife, my siblings, and the majority of my friends. They all remind me of this as often as they can.

It's certainly not easy getting old. My body hurts more than it used to. Last November I played flag-football with some friends on a chilly Saturday afternoon. Urged on by large doses of bravado and even larger does of homebrew I flung myself into the friendly game. In the end, I needed dental work and two full weeks to recover. I find that I need to workout nearly everyday to keep the stiffness and soreness out of my joints. If I miss a day or two, the next time I hit the trail or the weights I feel like the Tin Man desperately in need of some oil. I don't think my mind has deteriorated any. I still have an extremely short memory so it can't get much worse.

Yet through all of these events of weakening joints, loss of hair, and the ever growing "spare tire" I've never felt old...until last week. Last week one single event made me feel like I had one foot in the grave, the other in the nursing home.

On Tuesday of that week the boys were especially rowdy in the morning. I let them go for a while until I couldn't take it anymore. I thundered out the laundry list of things they were to be doing, "Are your chores done? Did you clean your room? Did you brush your teeth? Why haven't you started your homework", and on and on. The answers to those questions were obviously, no. I continued on, "why do I have to run off this list every morning?" So far, so good, but I took it a step too far with this, "I feel like a broken record." It was at that point that the earth stopped turning, time stood still, and all the world looked sadly upon this old man. The birds froze in the sky, toy cars stopped in mid-course, and even the water coming out of the tap for the dishes stopped bubbling. And then, it came, like a bolt of lightning out of the sky, voiced from my wonderful 8 year-old son, "....Dad, what's a record?"

The bird dropped from the sky, the car crashed into the wall, and the earth resumed it's normal speed. The world didn't wait for my answer. I was no longer relevant. I realized then and there that I was officially - old. No answer in the world would have sufficed. The world didn't care. I just shook my old head, took a shot of Geritol, and proceeded to do the dishes.

The Big Burn

2011-01-26T14:52:00.000-05:00

Ever since I read the book by David McCullough, Mornings on Horse Back about Teddy Roosevelt, I have been a huge fan of the former president.

Recently I read The Big Burn: Teddy Roosevelt and the Fire That Saved America. I was fascinated to learn the role Mr. Roosevelt had played in the establishment of the United States Forest Service. This fascination was compounded by the fact that names of many of the men in the book were very familiar to me after having worked with the USFS and Wilderness Outreach. These men, like Ed Pulaski and John Muir, were legends in my mind. After reading the book, they became heroes.

I never realized that in the early 1900's the railroad and logging industries were treating these beautiful areas in the West and Northwest as a completely expendable resource. They were basically raping and pillaging the land with no thought of future generations. In fact, the ideas of conservation and preservation were completely foreign in that day. Roosevelt and Pinchot worked against all odds, both in Congress and in the wild, to protect these wilderness areas.

The Great Fire of 1910, or The Big Burn as it is also known, was a forest fire of epic proportions. The fire burned 3 million acres and killed 87 people with it's devastating hurricane force winds, flames, and smoke. The newly formed USFS was grossly undermanned and underfunded. The USFS rangers at the time worked hard to save not only the wilderness but the small towns as well often with little pay and a great deal of resistance from the inhabitants of the area. The fire, which destroyed so much land and life, propelled the USFS and conservation into the spotlight. When the rest of the nation heard the heroic stories of the rangers, public opinion moved to the side of conservation. The Big Burn saved America by moving the people toward conservation and firmly establishing the USFS.

The Big Burn vividly recreates the disaster through the eyes of the men and women who experienced it, and does so with first-hand accounts. I highly recommend this book!

A Walk on the Wild Side

2011-01-25T14:03:00.004-05:00

I believe that there is a natural desire in men (and boys) for adventure. Danger, the unknown, exploration, all tug at the hearts of men. Every week my sons ask me to take them up into the little patch of woods behind our house that is no bigger than an acre. To them though, it is a serious adventure. It is probably all the more so since we don't allow them to go there by themselves yet. They beg to go to my grandparents piece of property on the other side of the county that is over 300 acres. Adventure seems to be in the DNA.

I agree with John Eldredge, God created man wild, and that's a good thing. The wildness of man has made possible all that we have today. His sense of adventure has led us to new lands and new frontiers. Man's quest for knowledge has given us the Internet (maybe not the best example) and modern medicines that basically eliminate sicknesses that once destroyed so many lives. Saint Irenaeus said that, "The glory of God is man fully alive." Man is most fully alive when he is living some sort of adventure, pursuing danger or greatness which are often intertwined, and making his way through an untamed world, and that, in my mind, is the glory of God.

Is it any wonder so many men are walking dead in our day? Our opportunities for real adventure have all but disappeared. My heart yearns for adventure when I read of Lewis & Clark, Teddy Roosevelt, and Kit Carson. I ache with a desire to find unchartered lands, dangerous jungles, and snow-capped mountains.

Now some may argue that getting married, raising children, and guiding a family is an adventure in itself. Others may argue the same about the religious life. I cannot argue. They too are adventures. However, it is a different animal altogether. It does not, for me at least, address the desire for clean air, danger, physical exertion, and natural peace. However, these "adventures" are not opposed. I have found that giving myself over to the adventures of the wild make me that much more prepared for the adventure of family. If I can survive on a mountainside with my wits and strength, I can deal with mountains of diapers and avalanches of homework!

What if you had the opportunity to do something really wild? What if you had the chance to go into wild country and test your mettle? Would you do it? Would you go? Would you put yourself, your manhood, your wildness to the test? What if I promised you that if you went, you would be a better husband, father, priest, deacon, or seminarian, and a better man?

Wilderness Outreach provides just that sort of opportunity and adventure. It is NOT a retreat in the traditional sense of the word. It truly is an expedition, an adventure not only into the wildness of the American West but also into the wildness of your heart. There, in the mountains, you will wrestle with your weaknesses and there, in the mountains, you will wrestle with God. If you have the desire to become "fully alive" as St. Irenaeus says, embrace your wild side, prepare your mind, heart, and body and then join a Wilderness Outreach Expedition!

Vince Flynn is the man

2011-01-24T16:51:00.006-05:00

I have an hour drive to work so I am a big fan of Audible. I try to listen to a wide variety of audio books and not get bogged down in one particular genre. After listening the Act of Treason by Vince Flynn, I know I'm going to have a difficult time keeping that balance.

This is only my first Flynn novel but it certainly won't be my last. In fact, I already have his latest, American Assassin loaded onto my mp3 player. I would say it's a page turner but I'm listening to it. I will say that when I arrive at work or at home, I don't want to get out of the car. Act of Treason is the only audio book that I have actually listened to in my home with headphones. Usually the mp3 player never leaves my car except to be charged or loaded with a new book.

Mitch Rapp is the main character of the book and I am guessing all of the books by Flynn. He is a CIA operative that is one bad dude. He's the kind of guy every guy dreams of becoming. He is smart, a bad ass, and the women love him, well, most of them.

I won't go through the whole story, you can read the synopsis here, but let's just say most of the book reads as though it could be straight out of real life. Maybe that is what makes it so good. The book is only $9.99 paperback and well worth the cash, or you can probably get it at the library.

My only caution is that there is plenty of foul language and in Act of Treason references to some deviant lifestyles. So if you are reading it, be ready for that. If you are listening to it, make sure the kids aren't around!

The Cabin

2011-01-23T15:40:00.002-05:00

During our Christmas visit to Louisiana the boys spent a lot of time in a small patch of woods beside the house. One day they came in complaining that the girls wanted to come into their "cabin" that they had created out of logs and sticks. They asked if they had to let the girls in.

Nicole took a diplomatic route and tried to encourage them to share the fort. She then turned to me and asked what I thought. I said, "no, they do not have to share and the girls should make their own if they want one." I was obviously the hero of the moment.

My reason for saying no was simple. They had made it and they should enjoy it. Not only that, boys need a place to call their own. They need a place that they can be boys in. They don't want flowers and a kitchen. They want holes to shoot out of and secret doors to use for entrance and

escape.

Shortly after I was interrupted again by please from the boys to help build their cabin since Uncle Sean was helping the girls and wouldn't help them. Uncle Sean helped the girls build their cabin (right) so I had to meet the challenge and exceed any dreams the boys might have of a cabin.

Without tools we constructed this rugged one room cabin complete with gun holes and a roof. The boys loved it and are hoping it is still standing the next time we head south. If not, we'll just have to build one better.

Deer Hunting

2010-12-07T14:11:00.002-05:00

This year was the first year I have deer hunted seriously in a long time. I used to go deer hunting often when I was younger. However, the title of "dad" has stolen some of that dedicated time. As the boys get older though, I am able to take them, and I am able to slip out to hunt by myself as well.

I saw 6 does early in the morning on Monday but didn't get a shot at any of them. That afternoon, my brother, father and I decided to go my grandparents property on the other side of the county.

It's been a couple years since my grandparents died and I had not been to "the farm" since before my grandfather died. However, the familiarity came rushing back. As my brother and I moved toward our hunting spots we walked and talked about hunting there when we were younger. It was a homecoming of sorts. The old farm house and barns looked different, new paint and a little care, but welcoming. I was glad to be there.

I left my brother at the corner of the woods and moved on to my spot. It was a warm Monday afternoon and the smell of the woods and the crinkling of leaves underneath me brought back great memories. I sat just inside the woods where my father and I had often hunted squirrels. I laughed as I remembered the time that he told me that if I put cow manure on the back of my neck and behind my ears, it would keep the mosquitoes away.

The memory of hunting with my grandfather also came to mind. He was the first man that I hunted with other than my dad. I remember being so nervous when he put me in a spot to wait for deer. Luckily I never saw one or I probably would have been too scared to shoot. It felt good though, to be out with my grandfather, and be part of the hunting party that met each morning before the sun rose and enjoyed a breakfast that my grandmother would fix. It's a wonder anyone shot a deer in those days with us walking through the woods smelling of bacon, eggs, and coffee.

After an hour I signaled to my brother and we moved deeper into the woods for the remainder of the afternoon. I set up in a spot not too far from where my dad and I had one of the funniest deer hunting episodes I can remember. It was a cold, rainy day and dad had brought a couple of large trash bags for us to sit on and wrap over our feet against the moisture. We sat in the cold and damp for about an hour when two large bucks came down a trail toward us. Dad prompted me to take the first shot but I couldn't get a shot because of a small tree in the way. Within a few moments, the deer had spooked and began to run. Dad, forgetting about the trash bag wrapped around his feet, jumped up to shoot at the bucks only to find himself rolling over the bank toward the creek.

I did get a deer this year, a 4 point buck, but the memories of hunts long past was a bigger trophy and an inspiration to take the boys hunting more often. Hopefully, they too will feel the joy of the hunt, the companionship of men, experience the beauty and wildness of nature, and bag a life full of great memories in the woods.

Fishing

2010-04-04T23:03:00.003-04:00

Here are some pictures from various fishing trips over the past couple weeks. Some were taken at my parents pond while others at Rose Lake (Old Man's Cave).

Burpees with Christopher and me.

2010-03-26T12:18:00.003-04:00

Here is video of Christopher and me doing some burpees for the guys at Wilderness Outreach. Check out the Wilderness Outreach website and join us on Facebook.

Hahn Snow Tube Team

2010-02-14T23:59:00.000-05:00

Winter Olympics- Hahn Version

Giant Snow Balls

2010-02-10T20:12:00.006-05:00

The two oldest boys and I decided to climb to the top of the hill behind our house, start making some giant snow balls and let them roll down the hill destroying everything in their path. We're looking for a contractor to help rebuild the east side of our home....just kidding. We did make some big snow balls but in the end they either split in two or got so big I couldn't keep them moving. Well try again, maybe on the otherside of the hill where it's more steep. Here are some pictures Nicole took from the living room of us working.

At the very top planning our strategy.

My first attempt split in two. You can see it here below my feet. It doesn't look big because of the distance but you can see the size of these things in the next picture and the video at the end.

This was attempt number two. It just stopped going. Click on the picture to get a better idea of the size.

The boys next to the first one that split. We ended up rolling another in between the two pieces and made a slide out of the whole thing.

This video shows me rolling the first snow ball down the hill. You can barely see my head as I work to keep it rolling. It started to take off and then just split in two. That is why you see me throwing my hands up.

Cherry Bench I Built for Shoes, Boots etc

2010-02-06T06:24:00.004-05:00

Here is the finished product of some hard work over the past few months (when I had the time of course). The is a 5 foot long bench / chest made of wild cherry. My grandfather took this massive cherry tree off of our property and had the Amish cut it up. Some of the boards were nearly 2 foot wide. I took much of it to the local staircase builder and had it plained down to use for kitchen cabinets. My father-in-law made the cabinets in 2005. This room was a disaster with 4 boys and numerous shoes, sandles, boots, hats, gloves, etc. This bench was the answer. It's over 62 inches long, 19 inches high and 20 inches tall with the inside of the bench being about 12 inches deep. The lid is one solid piece of cherry 16 inches wide. Drawers are below for gloves and hats.

The oldest testing the drawers

This is solitary confinement when the boys mis-behave. Unfortunately, at this time they are excited to be punished so that they can sit on the new bench.

The parts and pieces after I stained them.

Before stain

Preparing to sand

Glue, clamps, biscuts and coffee...not the biscuts you eat...

90 Days - Day 5

2010-02-05T19:41:00.003-05:00

What's this all about?

Bible Reading Program
Today's reading for the program covered Genesis 17-20.

In chapter 17 we see what Abram must do for his end of the covenant, circumcision. There would be no way that Abram, his male descendants, or any of his tribe would be able to forget their promise to God. It was now etched in their very flesh, they would see it every day, a few times a day!

Chapter 17 is also a chapter with a lot of name dropping and changing. Abram becomes Abraham, the irony is not lost on Abram whose name means "High Father". Now his new name means, "Highly Exalted Father". Yet he still has no offspring with his wife Sarai. Sarai's name is also changed, it becomes Sarah. The childless Sarah is told she will "be a mother of nations." These predictions get laughs from both Abraham and Sarah and so God names the son to be born to them Issac which means, yes, "He Laughs." God has a great sense of humor!

In chapter 18 we see Abraham pleading for the righteous in the city of Sodom. Abraham has Lot in mind for sure. However, we see in chapter 19 that you can take folks out of Sodom and Gomorrah but it was extremely difficult to take Sodom and Gomorrah out of the family of Lot. His future son-in-laws think he is crazy for wanting to leave. His wife looks back and is turned to salt. This always puzzled me especially in light of the fact that at nearly the same time Abraham is looking at Sodom and Gomorrah. I believe that Lot's wife had been corrupted and was looking back at the cities with longing and was punished. Lot's daughters too are corrupted by the culture of Sodom and Gomorrah. They get their father drunk and have sex with him and conceive.

Chapter 20 reminds me that I often commit the same sins over and over. Abraham again tries to pass his wife off as his sister in order to save his own skin, again. The Lord appears to the king of the land and punishes him, again. The ruler releases Sarah and reads Abraham the riot act...again. God help us in our weaknesses.

Max Workouts Program
Speaking of weaknesses...I was clinging this morning to the words of St. Paul when he speaks of being strong when he is weak. I was weak but I am getting stronger.

Today I started with a good warm-up and them moved directly into the day's exercises. Today the program called for doing as many of the exercises as you could in a 20 minute period. There were three exercises with 8-12 reps each, all three done in sequence counting as a round. The exercises moved from pull-up to push-up to burpees then back to pull-up and so on. I was ready to puke after three rounds. They should call those dang burpees - barfees. I did three rounds in almost ten minutes. I never thought this could be so difficult. I'M NOT GIVING UP!

Tomorrow is a day of just about any activity. I am going to get up and work on some of the optional ab exercises that are part of the program. I may go hike behind the house to. We're supposed to get about 8 inches of snow so that should make for a good workout!

90 Days - Day 4

2010-02-04T10:14:00.002-05:00

What's this all about?

Bible Reading Program
Today's Bible Reading (Genesis 12-16) covers the blessing of Abram and his entering into a covenant with God.

In chapter 12 Abram journeys into Egypt and does a strange thing. He is fearful for his life so he tells his wife to act as his sister so that the Egyptians won't kill him and take her. This is a cowardly action and shows a lack of trust in God. God in turn punishes the Egyptians for taking Sarai and so they release her after giving Abram a good tongue lashing.

In chapter 13 Abram and Lot go their separate ways to avoid anymore strife between their two tribes. However, Lot is captured during a war between a number of kings and Abram must go and rescue him. After the rescue Abram meets up with Melchizedek, King of Salem. Abram is blessed by Melchizedek and this is significant since the blessing of God usually passes from one person to another. Adam blessed Seth, Seth's blessing passed through generations to Noah, Noah blessed Shem and then the blessing appears to disappear. Some suggest the Melchizedek is actually Shem. Anyway, God's blessing is passed on to Abram and we also see a foreshadowing of the Eucharist in the offering of bread and wine rather than an animal sacrifice.

Chapter 15 is an odyssey of events with animals split in two, vultures, and mysterious fire. This all constitutes the covenant God makes with Abram. God promises to bless Abram with offspring too many to count. Often when we read this we imagine that Abram is going out and looking at all the countless stars in the night sky. However, a close reading indicates that it was actually day. After the promise, the sacrifice of the animals, and the birds of prey (which would only be out in the day), we read, "As the sun was going down..." (Genesis 15:12)

God had Abram go out and look for stars, "count them if you can" in the middle of the day. Thus showing Abram that God is faithful even if he couldn't see a single star! The stars are there but just not visible at that time!

In chapter 16 we see Abram and Sarai taking their childless situation into their own hands and not trusting God. It is at this time that Ishmael is born; the son of Abram and Sarai's maid, Hagar.

These chapters are about trust, will Abram trust God? Will you trust God, even when nothing makes sense?

Max Workouts Program

I finally felt good today. I got out of bed without much effort and the soreness of the first couple of days is starting to give way. Today was a bike day. It was pretty intense but much more tolerable. I warmed up with 5 mins of varied resistance on the bike. For 25 mins I did 40 second sprints of intense resistance followed by 40 seconds of lighter resistance.

Tomorrow is another workout so I may stop and get some lighter dumbbells. Saturday has nothing prescribed so I may drop back and do the optional ab workouts. So far, I'd still recommend the program and I am very much enjoying it. It takes some time to learn the exercises, for me at least, and their names but hopefully, with the help of the videos, I'll get a good handle on those so I can really dive into each workout.

90 Days - Day 3

2010-02-03T12:46:00.002-05:00

What's this all about?

Bible Reading Program

Today's reading (Chapters 9-11) gives us the geneology from Noah to Abram. Some interesting things to note:
1) We are lead to believe that up until all left the Ark the animals had no natural fear of humans. This would help further explain how such an event could have taken place. Genesis 9:2

2) Are we also to understand that up til this point man did not eat animals? Genesis 9:3

3) I have heard that the incident with Ham and "Noah's nakedness" was actually an instance of incest between Ham and Noah's wife, Ham's mother. This is alluded to in Leviticus 18:6-8. Depending on the translation (RSV-CE) both read "uncover the nakedness of your father."

Max Workouts Program
Today was a very tough day. I won't make excuses but I do think I need some lighter dumbbells for some of these exercises. I did some great warm-up exercises even though I am still extremely sore. Today's exercise consisted of using dumbbells for three exercises, never putting them down until the end of the first round and the beginning of the 1 min break. I only did 3 out of the 5-6 suggested rounds. I simply couldn't move the dumbbells one more time. I was using 30 lb dumbbells and probably need to drop down to twenty or fifteen.

I must say this is the most challenging program I have ever tried. What is nice is that the author/designer is a participant in the forums so he will read, reply and encourage everyone to stick it out and not give up. It makes it a little more personal and you don't feel like your left out on your own after your purchase.

I feel good even if can't do all the exercises yet. Just sticking with that personal commitment to get up everyday and try helps so much physically and mentally!

90 Days - Day 2

2010-02-02T12:21:00.003-05:00

What's this all about?

Max Workouts Program

Today was a cardiovascular day, a day of really getting the heart pumping. I woke up at 5 and began the scripture program (see below) and then moved into some warm-up exercises. Frankly, these hurt. I was still tight and sore from yesterday but once I got into them I felt a bit better. However, I realized that they weren't really necessary since I would be doing all of my work on the bike today.

After limbering up and warming up I sat down at the bike. I spent about five minutes at a steady pace before beginning the day's program. As I have said before Max Workouts focuses on intensity. It focuses on quality work rather than quantity work. This bike program for Tuesdays and Thursdays is basically the equivalent of sprinting for thirty seconds and then jogging for thirty seconds, sprinting for 30, jogging for 30. This continues for about 20-25 mins. It was not easy and it really got my heart pumping. In order to get that sprint power I tightened the bike resistance and then let off for the jog. Again, today, my legs are hurting. It can't last forever, right??? Right?

Bible Reading Program

Today Genesis 5-8 takes us through the lineage of Seth to Noah and then the story of Noah and the Ark.

Chapter 5 gives us the family history of Noah. We begin with Seth and work our way through all of the sons, grandsons, etc. One interesting thing to note is that not until we get to Enoch, the great-grandfather of Noah, do we read "Enoch walked with God." I have to wonder if the other ancestors of Noah did not walk with God. Also, only Noah has three of his sons named while the others had only one named.

Chapter 6 basically retells the story of man from the time of Adam and Eve until Noah. We see that those who followed God, "sons of God", married those who did not follow God, "sons of men", and the human race beings to seriously fall out of favor with God. When we finally get to Noah we once again read that he "walked with God." There is something for us to consider. Do we walk with God?

In the remaining verses of the chapter God tells Noah to build the Ark, why, and who and what is to come aboard.

Many don't believe in the ark account. They read it as a myth. They ask, how could Noah get all of those animals on the Ark. Well, he didn't, God did. I have seen how God can do this too. In the days after Hurricane Katrina I read a story in the New Orleans paper about how they found all of these animals located together on this one spot of high ground. The remarkable thing was that they were animals that would not naturally get along. They were predators and prey, yet they were all seeking safety and accommodating one another. I have also read stories of how animals react before an event of nature takes place.

Another beautiful part of the Ark story is that they go on two by two but scripture tells us that when the Ark came to a rest, over a year after the flood began, they all "went forth by families out of the Ark." It was the original "love boat" by all accounts!

90 Days - Day 1

2010-02-01T08:38:00.004-05:00

What's this all about?

Max Workouts Program

Today was the first day of my 90 day program. Last night I reviewed the exercises with the help of the available online videos that come with the program. I made sure that I could do them all and had the necessary equipment. I also found replacement exercises for those I couldn't do since I don't have pull-up or chin-up equipment. After reviewing and planning out my morning, I set my alarm for 5 AM and promptly went to bed at 9 PM.

I can't say I jumped out of bed but I didn't hit the snooze. I got dressed and went downstairs to my "man cave" area and cracked open the Bible for my 90 day reading program (meditations below). After scripture I began with the recommended warm-up routine. This routine isn't just sissy stretches and jogging in place. It is designed to get things kick-started and I was dang near worn out by the end of about 7 minutes of warm-ups!

After the warm-up routine I moved right into the workouts. I thought that I was pretty much in shape. I've been hiking every Saturday about 10+ miles, doing push-ups, etc. By the second round I was begging God to just take me then and there.

This program focuses on high-intensity workouts. It's not doing curls and then looking at your biceps. It's more like those times in high-school sports when you thought you'd probably feel better if you could just throw-up after the given exercise. There are only three exercises each day to begin with but they are killer and they don't even call for a great deal of weight. The 4 rounds took only 20 minutes.

When I finished I was a quivering pile of jell-o. I could barely walk back upstairs for some breakfast. And, to be honest, with you, my brothers, I only did 4 rounds of the prescribed 5-6. I just couldn't do any more. My body and I are not speaking right now.

I jumped on the forums at Max Workouts to find another poor soul that began the program today and he too only did 4 rounds. Misery loves company. Tomorrow is a cardio day and I'll explain that tomorrow. For now, I'm going to focus on recovery, 5 hours later my legs still don't cooperate when going down the stairs!

Bible Reading Program

The 90 Day Bible Reading Program comes from The Great Adventure Bible Timeline program by Jeff Cavins. In order to access the free study you need to register and download the single page PDF file. Or email me and I can sent it to you.

Today - Genesis 1-4 In the beginning, what better place to start a reading program or an exercise program! I can't possibly give commentary on everything I read but I will highlight some meditations that I had during the reading.

7 Sins - I found it fascinating that we can see all 7 of the deadly sins at the fall of Adam and Eve.

Pride - Adam & Eve desire to be like God. (Gen 3:6)

Avarice (greed) - They had everything, what more could they want? Yet in their pride, they desired the only thing forbidden them. (Gen 3:6)

Gluttony - Again, God had given them all they would need, yet they are tempted to reach for more, one more morsel "good for food." (Gen 3:6)

Sloth - Adam & Eve, though they know what is forbidden, give no fight, no exertion to resist offending God, and entertain conversation with the devil. (Gen 3:2-6)

Envy - Our first parents were envious of God, they felt as though He had something good and was hiding something from them. (Gen 3:4-5)

Lust - At the fall Adam & Eve no longer looked upon one another with self-giving love but rather with selfish love, thinking in their hearts "how can I use this person." (Gen 3:7)

Anger - The episode of the fall turns into a blame game - Adam blaming Eve, Eve blaming the serpent. The anger of one is vented against another, confession is never considered. (3:12-13)

Another passage that caught my attention is "and dust shall you eat". God addresses this to the serpent who we know is the devil. I wonder if this was meant to be a play on words. Consider that we are told both Adam and Eve are made of...dust of the earth. Is this meant to convey that the serpent will be in constant pursuit, trying to consume man?

That's it for now, time to let my body and brain relax! God Bless!

Challenge

2010-01-26T15:06:00.005-05:00

I took John Eldredge's advice and spent some time in prayer at the beginning of the year asking God for a word or theme for the year. The answer, although I'm still leery of it, was "challenge". I am not sure if this is going to be a challenging year or I am supposed to challenge myself or I am going to face a huge challenge. Since I am unsure, I will step out in faith and if I'm heading the wrong way God will show me. I feel a little bit like Saint Francis. He was told to "rebuild my Church" and thought God meant it literally with bricks and stones and so that is what he did only to find out God wanted something different, something greater.

I've decided to challenge myself, until further notice, in a couple of different ways - physically and spiritually. In August I'll be heading, God willing, to California for another trip with Wilderness Outreach. It is going to be a very challenging trip with a 20 mile hike with pack to our work site. I need to be ready physically. I also need to be ready spiritually.

I've decided to begin two 90 day programs to kick off this preparation. The first is a 90 day program called MAX Workouts. This program appeals to me because of the variety of exercise as well as the levels of difficulty. This is not your ordinary 2 hours of lifting weight in the gym. It is much shorter but more intense. It seems to be more natural as well. What I mean is that it uses more natural body positions, gravity, and full body exercises that burn lots of calories. For instance, you can burn calories doing military presses but if you incorporate a power lift with that press, using your entire body, you can move more muscles and burn more calories.

Another thing that appeals to me is the fact that it focuses on total body exercise and strength training. Too often I lift, feel buff, plateau and give up because I'm not challenged and I'm not increasing overall strength. Of course I'm not looking into body building. I want to gain strength, get rid of calories and weight, and become a bit more flexible. So, MAX Workouts is what I'll be trying for 90 days.

In addition to that program, I've decided to try reading the Bible in 90 days. Of course I won't be reading the entire thing but rather focusing on the 14 narrative books as outlined by Jeff Cavins in his Great Adventure Timeline program. I've gone through the program three times but never have I tried the 90 day reading list.

I am posting this post because I hope to chronicle my experience with both programs for the 90 days (I'll begin on February 1st). I'll let you know what I think of the exercise program as it progresses as well as any thoughts on the scripture that I'm reading.

If you are interested in joining me in either program, let me know. I can email you the 90 day Bible reading list. The MAX Workouts program is $39.95 with a 100% - 60 day money back guarantee. I hope it's a good program and not like some of the junk on the Internet but we'll see and if it isn't good I'll get my money back.

When God says no. (Repost from Real Life Rosary)

2010-01-12T07:55:00.000-05:00

Another from my other blog.

Have you ever prayed for something only to have God say, "no"? Have you ever offered sacrifices, begun prayer chains, prayed novenas to every known saint in Heaven for an intention only to have God say, "no"? I have and I am willing to bet that you have too.

Most recently I prayed, as did many of you, that my daughter Catherine would be healed of the cancer in her right eye and that it would not need to be removed. We prayed hard everyday. We offered to God sacrifices and some of them heroic. We prayed novena after novena to Lucy, Peregrine and others. In the end, God said, "no".

Before that many of you prayed with us when Catherine was in the womb. You prayed with us during her first, second, and third surgery. You prayed for her healing. You prayed while she spent the first four months of her life in the hospital. You prayed for miracles and God said, "no".

So, how do we respond when our loving God says, "no"? How do we respond when unbelievers say, "where is your God?" I believe that our response depends on our relationship with Him. Like any human relationship, if the love between persons is shallow or superficial, it doesn't take much for the relationship to be destroyed or at least severely injured.

For the first few months of Catherine's life I viewed God as a miracle dispensing machine. I thought that if I asked hard enough, said enough prayers, offered enough sacrifices...He'd cough up a good 'ol miracle. After all, I reasoned, with the state of faith today, couldn't He use the attention of a bona fide miracle to get more souls on His side? I argued, pleaded, threatened. In short, I threw a good, solid, spiritual temper tantrum. He said "no" and I ran off to my room and vowed to never talk to Him again.

I struggled with my faith after that. I struggled with who I was and who He was. Through it all, He was a patient, loving Father awaiting my return. When I realized that He was a loving Father, I also realized that I was behaving like a spoiled child and that our relationship was not one of love and trust.

In His goodness, He helped me realize this shortly before Catherine was diagnosed with retinoblastoma. My prayers this time were different. I prayed earnestly for a miracle but only if it was His will. I vowed to trust Him no matter the outcome.

In prayer one day, like a little child I asked Him, "why do you say "no" so often?" He had two answers - 1) You ask for snakes, 2) I say "yes" far more than I say "no". Snakes? The answer came to me in an instant. He was referring to the passage in Matthew when Jesus says, "...if he asks for a fish, will you give him a serpent?" God was giving me the opposite and true statement saying essentially, "you asked for a snake, I want to give you a fish."

I realized that God has other plans for me and for Catherine. A miracle cure of her eye was not part of that plan and that I need to trust that what he will do through her will be far greater. God only says "no" when we ask for snakes.

I thought long and hard about Him saying "yes" far more than He says "no" but just couldn't see it at the time but I accepted it. It wasn't until our family was returning from a long trip that I realized how often He does say "yes". As we pulled into the drive I was moved to give thanks for the safe trip we had and I asked everyone to say a prayer of thanksgiving with me. It was at that moment I heard Him whisper, "see, I said yes again." I thought of the prayers we had said 16 hours earlier asking for a safe passage and realized that yes indeed He does say "yes" far more than "no". The problem is that I am far less observant and thankful than I should be when He does say "yes".

As I write this I can think of hundreds of little prayers offered to God and the positive answers He gave. I am ashamed that I went on my merry way, like the other 9 lepers, not returning to thank Him each and every time. I pray for the grace to be more thankful. We all prayed for good results from Catherine's tests and that she wouldn't need Chemo, He said "yes".

God says "yes" far more often than He says "no" but I must retrain myself to see these little miracles and answers to prayer. He says "no" because He loves me and has a better plan for my life and the lives of those entrusted to me. God, give me the grace to be more thankful for both your "yes" and your "no".

Catherine

2009-12-09T21:05:00.002-05:00

From my other blog. Thanks.

We learned today that Catherine does have a tumor in her right eye, retinoblastoma. Because this tumor is larger in size, and because it has caused her retina to detach, the only option for her right now is to remove her eye. It is not possible to remove the tumor without taking a big risk of having it spread to other parts of her body.

The good news is that the tumor has not spread to her brain and is contained in her right eye. There is still some question as to whether she will need chemotherapy or not, but that will become clearer once the tumor is out. We will also see a pediatric oncologist to help in that decision. The plan is right now to have her eye removal surgery tomorrow. This could change if the surgery center is unable to schedule her early tomorrow. It is an outpatient procedure.

We are once again begging your prayers for our Catherine. Please pray for the doctors and nurses. Please pray for us. We don't want to see her suffer, but if anyone can beat this, she can!
God Bless.

How do you see others?

2009-12-03T14:08:00.003-05:00

I once heard a phrase that went something like this, - think the best of someone and if you are wrong, the fault is theirs. Think the worst of someone and if you are wrong, the fault is yours.

I was reminded of this while out hiking a couple weeks ago with John Bradford from Wilderness Outreach. We were discussing the fact that we, as fallen men, can have false beliefs about things and people.

He gave the personal example of how he feels about people who tailgate him while driving. He said he usually has this nearly uncontrollable urge to make them pull over, drag them from the car, pulverize them, and then ask why they were doing that. He said he realized, with the help of a priest friend, that he was assuming the worst. He was seeing those people tailgating as evil, as hateful, as scum, as idiots and the like. He wasn't seeing them as someone who was racing to be with a dying parent. He didn't see them as someone whose month-old child had recently been diagnosed with cancer. He didn't think the best or try to imagine why this person might be acting this way.

As we continued hiking I stooped to pick up an empty Coke bottle someone had left on the trail. In the time it took for me to pick it up and ask John to throw it in my backpack, I had saw, judged, and condemned the person to whom it belonged. I saw this person thumbing his or her nose at God and his creation while spitting on the ground and tossing the Coke bottle in contempt. All of this I imagined. It never happened. I thought the worst. For all I know, that person could have felt absolutely terrible when he or she returned from a hike to find that it had fallen out of their pack.

My tendency is to see others in this negative light and I think it says a lot about me. And what it says is not good, I need serious work. It will take a concerted effort on my part to reprogram my thinking. It will take work to see people and their actions with a more positive light but with God's grace I can do it.

So, how do you see others? Do you try to see the best in them and their intentions or do you jump to conclusions, accuse, and condemn? It's something to pray about.

Our Supply of Flint

2009-12-02T11:21:00.000-05:00

From my other blog:

I believe our property must have been located on an Indian (Native American) route to Flint Ridge. For years the boys have been finding all shapes, sizes and colors of flint rock. My father recently plowed a couple acres directly behind our house and the boys have been finding bucket loads of flint which, for some reason, finds it's way into our house. Not only into our house but upstairs, in the playroom, in the living room, in the dryer, in the bathroom sink...yeah, basically everywhere you look you can find some flint.

Did you know that flint, a type of quartz, is the 4th hardest rock after the diamond? hence the large scratch across the top of this table....

This is the most recent collection by our oldest son.

They have found quite a few treasures as well, like these arrowheads.

5 Ways to Say "I Love You" by Danielle Bean

2009-12-02T10:47:00.002-05:00

What Pleases a Wife's Heart Most?

5 Ways to Say “I Love You”
Women are not complicated creatures. When I was preparing to write this article, I asked my female friends on Twitter and Facebook: What pleases a wife's heart most?
I received more than one-hundred responses, and though they varied widely, the underlying theme in every single one of them was the same: Pay attention to me! When husbands pay attention, we feel loved.

Of course there are many ways to pay attention. Gary Chapman’s popular book The Five Love Languages is a great resource for any husband, but no matter what “love language” a woman speaks, the way to make her feel most loved is to take notice of her details. Like it or not, women are all about the details, and the thought that goes with them.

Gifts: Sweat the Small Stuff If gifts are important to your wife, the value she attaches to them has little to do with their price tags. I’ll never forget the Christmas morning when I opened a small wrapped package from my husband and immediately burst into happy tears. It was a small gold locket that I had casually admired at the mall many months before. I was touched that Dan had remembered my noticing the locket and made such a genuine effort to please me. It was a $15 locket 13 years ago, and I am still talking about it today.

Touch: Make a Connection Women who long for physical affection from their husbands are truly hoping not to blend in with the furniture. When you reach for her hand at a party, or put your arm around her shoulder while sitting at dinner, or spontaneously hug her while she’s doing the dishes, your actions tell her: “I see you. I notice you. I want to connect with you and make you feel good.” That kind of individualized attention takes only a tiny bit of effort but scores you mega-points in the happy wife department.

Togetherness: Listen Up! If spending time together is your wife’s love language, she craves your engaged attention. You will thrill her if you take in an interest in the things she is passionate about and just plain listen to her perspective on the world. One important translating tip: When your wife shares negative thoughts and feelings with you, she is not blaming you and she definitely is not looking for you to “fix” her feelings. She just wants you to hear her out. That means listening, nodding, and commiserating – and nothing else unless she asks for it.

Service: Notice Her Needs Wives who value “acts of service” are not just looking for a maid. What they really want is for their husbands to notice their needs. I remember one evening, when at the end of a week-long bout of stomach viruses, fevers, and sleepless nights, my husband said, “Now what shall I make for dinner?” I swooned. It wasn’t just that I got out of making dinner that night – it was the fact that he noticed my need and made a sacrificial effort to meet it. That wins you the girl every time.

Words: Acknowledge Her Strengths If your wife seeks verbal affirmation, a great place to start is with the words “Thank you.” Your gratitude tells her that you do indeed notice the little things she thinks you take for granted. Be as specific as you can when you praise her and you will send the message that not only do you appreciate her efforts, but you pay close attention to her and recognize her strengths in an individualized way. That’s the stuff that happy wives are made of.

Women are all different and yet in many ways we’re all the same. Though our individual desires and preferences vary, in the end we all want one thing: the attention of the men we love. The nice part is, when you notice your wife, she will notice you back.

Danielle Bean, a mother of eight, is Editorial Director of Faith & Family. She is writing a series of columns for Fathers for Good that explore the relations between husband and wife

New Book from John Eldredge

2009-11-09T20:03:00.003-05:00

As you know, I am a huge fan of John Eldredge. His books have had a powerful impact in my life and continue to do so. He and his wife Stasi have a new book coming out December 15th - Love and War: Finding the Marriage You've Dreamed Of

I am a little gun-shy about pre-ordering or even buying this book since the last book I bought of his was a huge disappointment. Fathered by God: Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You was simply an edited version of his powerful book, The Way of the Wild Heart: A Map for the Masculine Journey.

Of course I'll buy it and post a review on here or maybe my wife and I will read it together and do a "he says", "she says" type review. Either way, just thought I'd let all of the John Eldredge fans know it was out there.

I was asked earlier this year which of his books I'd recommend so I thought I'd share that here now. I'd recommend the following, in this order.

1)Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive - This is an eye opening book that puts the Christian life in perspective. The dead are those who are not fully alive in the fact that they live a Christian life that is soft, easy, and full of wealth and health. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is in fact difficult, you have an enemy, and the battle rages all around. Read this book and wake up!

2)Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul - This was the first of Eldredge's books that I read. It's one of those books that you read and it confirms every thought you've had as a man. It confirms and affirms the fact that men are different and men are needed. It is book that will also help a man deal with his shortcomings and failures.

3)The Way of the Wild Heart: A Map for the Masculine Journey - picks up where Wild at Heart left off. It truly is a map for the journey. In this book John maps out all of the stages of the masculine journey. He shows not only how the journey is supposed to proceed but how to mentor our sons in this journey as well.

Thanks for reading, I'll keep you in my prayers and post a review of the new book as soon as I can.

Boys and Guns

2009-11-04T08:57:00.003-05:00

On Monday I went shopping. Okay, sounds like a confession coming. I was shopping for my 5 year-old son's birthday. Of course, being the dad that I am and knowing my boy, I set out in search of a gun. I don't think he is ready for a high-powered rifle. However, I did want to get him a gun that was solidly built, made noise, and preferably used real gunpowder. Wow, was I in for a surprise!

As I was strolling the isles of Toys R Us I was reminiscing the days of my youth when a cap gun was all a boy needed to by happy. If I wasn't shooting at birds or cats with the noisy projectile-less weapon, I was smashing whole rolls of those red caps with a brick. After the smashing I would unroll the coil to see if there might be one or two small packets of gunpowder that were missed that I could set off with the corner of the brick.

I revisited the isles where I thought the guns and caps should be and found nothing but Nerf weapons. I traveled on to Target hoping to find another selection weapons. To my horror, only Nerf. Don't get me wrong, I like Nerf dart guns as much as the next guy but I wanted noise and gunpowder not fluffy whistling Styrofoam. I do have to give the Nerf gun makers credit though. Where they lack in noise and fire they make up for it with sheer volume of ammunition. Some of those guns have the option to fire one or thirty darts at a time. You can even buy darts by the hundreds!

I went to the local gun store to see if by chance they had any toy guns. I mean, why not start them early and keep a customer for life. However, they only had a toy crossbow. I finally found a gun at local store that has nearly everything. Even though it was made in China, I bought it. I asked about caps but they were out so I had to find those elsewhere.

Maybe this post is just a rant but I think it says something about our country. I believe the proper use and respect for guns has been destroyed by those anti-gun advocates that equate guns with violence. The result has been that we now have two extremes: hardcore destruction of life with guns by those who have grown up to see them only as a means for destroying human life and: super soft "weapons" made of cheap plastic that are thrown in the toy box a few days after opening hardly to be used again*.

Guns, and other weapons, are as much a part of a boy's life now as they were hundreds or even thousands of years ago. You should have seen the look in my boys' eyes as they exclaimed after receiving their first caps, "do you smell that, it's gun powder, I love the smell of gunpowder." If you don't give the boy a weapon and instruct him how to use it, he'll make his own and train himself and usually not in a good way.

My boys are instructed to not even point a toy gun (the ones that actually launch things) at another person and we are getting ready for training on a real gun (BB, then 22 and 410). I only wish that there were "real" toy guns that had the weight that they used to and used caps rather than electronics. If you are in the market for some great toy caps guns, many of which are USA made, check this page out that I recently found - http://www.toyguntown.com

* The dart guns have been recommissioned to shoot crayons.

Depression Part I

2009-10-18T17:56:00.004-04:00

"He was spurned and avoided by men, a man of suffering, accustomed to infirmity..." Isaiah 53:3

I have always found comfort in this passage. I guess it because I can relate. It's not that I am a suffering servant but I am a man of suffering. I suffer from depression.

I recently finished a book that has helped me come to terms with this illness. The book Lincoln's Melancholy has helped me realize that I am not alone. Mr. Lincoln and myself, at least, have suffered the effects of the illness. Of course I write that in jest, however, I know that I am not alone even though my melancholic temperament and depression often makes me feel as though I am the only one to experience this.

So, here, I hope to write about what I have been going through for all of my life but most especially the past year.

I have been of the melancholic temperament for as long as I can remember and the experts would tell me for as long as I have been alive. As with all temperaments, the melancholic has it's blessings and curses. I am blessed with intense creativity and powers of meditation. I am cursed with a dark view of the world and my place in it. I am blessed with the ability to feel deeply the hurts of others. I am cursed with the tendency to give up on that which I perceive as not perfect. I can find joy in the most seemingly insignificant event and spiral into an unfathomable darkness as a result of an insignificant event.

I have suffered from this temperament and it's related illness, depression, for some time. I will not go into past details, many of those are recalled in my Conversion Story. Instead, I will begin with what has been the most difficult ten months of my life thus far.

I remember thinking, "I think they took my soul rather than my stem cells" shortly after donating PBSC to help save the life a young man with blood cancer. When it seems as though any other person would be rejoicing at the opportunity to save another's life, I fell into a deep, dark depression. I lost my love for writing, and stopped writing in earnest on any of my blogs or in any of my journals. I struggled with the very existence of God and I lost my will to live. I wasn't suicidal but I wasn't wanting to stick around either. (Incidentaly, I learned later that the young man made a full recovery which did give me some joy.)

I dutifully kept up all outward appearances. I did my job well and spent time with friends but I was dead inside. I was a walking shell of a man. Only my wife had any inclination of how much I was suffering internally. Yet, even she had no idea what was going on inside my mind and heart. Even those closest to me had no idea that I would drive to work praying for someone to cross the line, crash into me and end it all. The only thoughts that could drive away this darkness was the images of my wife and children.

I sought help from my brother, a priest, and told him of my sufferings and asked his advice. We talked and that helped but I had neither the will nor the power to practice those things he advised. I continued groping in the darkness finding happiness only in wrestling with the kids or talking to Nicole. Yet, when the wrestling ended or the talks ceased, I sank quickly back into the blackness.

There were times of joy but they seemed short-lived. They were often cut short by some stupid event that would cloud my vision and cast me back into the pit. I could be full of joy after spending an evening with extended family, eating, drinking and having a great time, and then stub my toe or not be able to find a screwdriver and fall helplessly back into despair.

This cycle continued throughout the spring of 2009. It was a roller coaster to say the very least. By the time school had let out and my work was done for the summer, I was in dire straits. I pinned all of my hope on recovery on my trip with Wilderness Outreach. It was peg that could not hold the weight, but it alleviated my suffering for a time and provided a window for God speak to me.

To be continued....

October Hiking

2009-10-18T17:33:00.005-04:00

The cool weather has got the boys excited about doing some hiking. We went out both Saturday and Sunday. Both times we simply went on the property behind the house. Enjoy...

The hills are just starting to get some color.

Anthony, king of the hill.

Samuel. Our house just above his left shoulder.

Looking up the valley, grandma and grandpa's house - middle right.

Boys will be boys even with their Blessed Mother... I don't know why they think their coats can come off when they get back down to the house.

This was Saturday. It was damp. The cats went with us. One of the three came back. Another came back a day later, haven't seen the third....

The great hunters.

...or maybe militia?

...yeah, definitely militia.

He loves this broken-down plastic dart gun. He figured out that he can shove sticks down the barrel and shoot them out. Okay, yes, dad showed him by using a crayon but don't tell my wife!

The Kentuckyian Rifles. The oldest two got these when we went to see Tecumseh this summer. A great investment. They've really held up well.

They did see a couple deer but no coyotes.

Proud of his missing tooth.

One of the last Golden Rod flowers around.

Samuel blazing a trail. One of their favorite things to do is to go into this new growth area (it's about 14 years old) and knock off all of the lower branches. The trees are so dense that the lower branches and small trees don't get any light and die. In the spring it's like a whole other world - dense, dark, and lush - it's like our own Shire.

Some sort of skull I found. Maybe a groundhog?

This picture turned out better than I expected.

Wilderness Outreach Program

2009-10-09T23:54:00.001-04:00

This is the group I went with to NM this summer. It is a Catholic Men's group.

Carson 2009 Video 1

2009-07-15T21:46:00.002-04:00

Another Boy's Day Out

2009-06-24T14:52:00.005-04:00

I took my 4 boys and the neighbor boy out for some hiking and other things today. Here are the results....

The local park has a play area that is every boy's dream (even grown-up boys can play on this set).
Rock climbing wall.

Not too high.

Trying out the macro on my new camera.

The CREW. I made $50 today because I made everyone who said, "wow, five boys, you really have your hands full", give me $5.

Conkle's Hollow

...on the trail...

Super hikers.

...one more...

The end of the trail.

From the end of Conkle's Hollow looking back toward the trail.

Cave men, look closely...

Our last stop was Ash Cave.

I was very hesitant to let them run ahead among the rocks but it was late in the day so my resistance was worn down.

The CREW at Ash Cave.

Cedar Falls

2009-06-20T12:32:00.000-04:00

Energy Bar

2009-06-19T18:37:00.003-04:00

You won't see too many recipes on this site but I had to share this one. I was looking for a clone for Clif Bars and came across this. It's not an exact clone but they sure are good and it gives you a base if your interested in adding your own ideas for ingredients. I recommend using a Kitchen Aid Mixer or something similar because they get pretty sticky and tough toward the end of the mixing.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Beat together in a bowl with a mixer:
1/2 cup canola oil or oil substitute or 3/4 cup smashed banana
1 cup of fructose
2 T Molasses
2 Eggs or 4 Large Egg Whites
1 tsp Vanilla Extract (optional)

In another bowl mix together:
1/4 cup of cocoa (optional)
2 cups of rolled oats or 10 grain cereal ground in a blender
2 cups of white flour, unbleached
1/2 tsp of salt
1 tsp of baking powder

Slowly add dry ingredients to the moist ingredients.

Add 2 cups of chocolate chips (optional)
Add 1 1/2 cups of chopped nuts (optional)

When it is well blended spread on a greased 9 x 13 pan or dish and bake for 25-30 mins
Cut while still warm.

Makes 12 - 2 oz. bars.
Approx: 291 cal, 63 grams of carbs, 7 grams of protein, 2 fat

New Advertising Campaign

2009-05-26T13:21:00.002-04:00

Here is new Rosary ad campaign I am thinking of creating for our rosaries. Let me know what you think!

Saturday Hike

2009-05-09T11:49:00.009-04:00

It is amazing the difference a month can make. Everything at Clear Creek is lush and green. I set out to hike 6 to 8 miles and ended up hiking a little over 10. It was a great morning to think and breath in the beauty.

This path runs along Clear Creek. It looks like paradise in the early morning.

This hawk posed for his picture. Others like the fox and blue herron were not so patient with me.

No, this isn't just a picture of a mud puddle. Here along the side of the road in this little patch of mud were countless whitetail deer prints. I don't why they were all right in this area. Perhaps the salt from the winter roads collected here?

This outcropping of sandstone is called Painted Rock and it is right along the side of the road.

Look closely and you will see the head of a whitetail peeking at me from behind a tree.

This Dogwood tree had snapped in half and it appeared to put all it's last efforts into the flowers. These flowers were very near the size of my hand.

A short video of my trip in the area. My camera man leaves much to be desired....add to that the fact that I dropped out of acting school and well...

Happy Birthday to Catherine!!!!

2009-05-02T14:03:00.004-04:00

Hard to believe it's been one year since you were born. We all love you so much. Read Catherine's story here.

Challenge Hike

2009-04-22T13:39:00.005-04:00

Anyone interested in a challenge hike? On May 23rd some of us will be hiking 20+ miles from Lake Logan to Ash Cave along the Buckeye Trail. If you are interested, send me an email so we can contact you with the details.

Help Saint Gabriel Radio

2009-04-21T16:22:00.002-04:00

Saint Gabriel Radio is our local Catholic radio station serving the Diocese of Columbus. The broadcast a bunch of local shows as well as EWTN. However, they need help to stay on the air. They are leasing their new building / station which provides a stronger signal for Columbus, but need to purchase it by June.

They need 2500 new Members ($20./mo for 3 year commitment) as well as Founders (approx. $150/mo for 3 year commitment) in order to show the owners they are able to buy. Of course, they need a few BIG donors as well.

I wanted to give my blog readers the opportunity to help support this station. Even if you don't live in the area, your assistance helps Church through this needed ministry of evangelization over the air waves.

FOUR WAYS TO HELP

1) PRAY - Offer your prayers and intentions that God might move the hearts and minds of those who have the means to give and provide for the station.

2) DONATE - There are plenty of opportunities to donate through their website. Consider joining the 1580 club - donating $15.80 a month (.53 a day) to St. Gabriel Radio!

3) ATTEND A CONCERT - International Performer and Recording Artist Eric Genuis will be in Columbus for a benefit concert for St. Gabriel Radio on May 8th at New Albany Church of the Resurrection.

4) BUY MY BOOKS AND ROSARIES - Okay, I know that sounds bad but it's my way to contribute. For every copy of Rosary Meditations for Real Life that you buy I'll donate $3 to Saint Gabriel Radio and for every cord knot rosary that you buy I'll donate $1 to St. Gabriel Radio. I'll make these donations until June 1st.

Thanks for your prayers and help! God Bless you all, Jim.

WAH Chapter 1 - A Beauty To Rescue

2009-04-21T06:54:00.003-04:00

Questions from Wild at Heart Field Manual Chapter One.

[T]hink back again to the movies roles you'd love to play - who are the damsels you'd love to rescue?

I didn't list Braveheart in my original list but I always imagined myself rescuing the woman who was Wallace's wife. When I watch the scene where she is killed I am filled with indescribable rage and I cheer like a mad man when Wallace returns to get his revenge.

As I think about that scene I realize that here was a beauty to rescue and he failed. His heart is broken by this and the remainder of the movie is him trying to make things right. He was drawn into the larger story when the larger story affected his life. As a husband and father, I feel like I too am being compelled to fight in a larger story since my family is under attack. I have not only my wife to defend and rescue but my children as well.

And, recalling the daydream about three months of free time and anything you could do, would the months really be everything you desire if there were only adventure but never a beautiful woman as part of the adventure?

Sure, I can imagine and answer but it doesn't help me where I am today. If, today, I were able to take those three months away much of that time would be interceding on behalf of my wife. I would be going away not just for the adventure but to mature so that I can more nobly be the man that she deserves.

As I prepare for the Wilderness Outreach Retreat this summer this theme tends to keep popping up. I ask myself, or rather God asks me, "what do you want out of this?" My answer is always, "to mature, to learn to be a man." I feel as though I am missing something in my masculinity. I feel as though something was stolen from me in my youth that has stunted my emotional and spiritual growth as a man. In short, I am tired of feeling like an 8th grader trapped in a 37 year-old body. There is something missing and I hope to find it on this retreat, not simply for myself - which would bring a great deal of healing to me personally - but for my wife and family; they deserve more, they deserve a father who is more of a man than he is today.

What stirs inside you when you look upon the daughters of Eve?

There are times when I look women and I am completely in awe. It is a similar feeling to when I first see a beautiful waterfall, vista, or sunset. My breath is literally taken away. There are times when I look at my wife and I am nearly brought to tears thinking of how fearfully and wonderfully made she is. I am in awe of her external and internal beauty.

And have you sensed that, at its core, your passion to rescue the Beauty is a good thing, part of your destiny?

I believe it is a good thing. However, I also believe that that desire has been twisted by the culture that I live in. That passion to rescue the beauty, to be her hero has been distorted in myself, and others, into a selfish desire to win her without loving who she is. In other words, it is a desire to ravish her without fighting for her. In reality, this is the desire of the men in our culture. If many of them were forced to fight for her in order to win her, they would simply walk away and say it's not worth the effort. We have allowed this to happen in many ways contraception not being the least of the handicaps.

Homeschool Wetlands Program

2009-04-17T17:28:00.007-04:00

Clear Creek Metro Park hosted a Homeschool Wetlands Program this afternoon. Nicole took Catherine with her on a weekend retreat so the "men" went out hiking.

The Men.

Me trailing behind...

At the lake we were invited to try to catch things out of the pond. I made the boys lie down to do their hunting. I do suffer from Worst Case Scenario Syndrome, in case you didn't know that.

William was just digging around in the mud with a stick.

Christopher caught this Newt. A ranger was there taking pictures for the next park magazine and it looks like Christopher will be in the mag or on their website.

The naturalist took Christopher's Newt back to the office to show another group next week.

This is the spill-way from the "lake" that we visited. It's pretty impressive and tough to keep the boys from throwing sticks and leaves in to watch get carried away and over the rapids.

The water flowed over rock cliffs dropping a couple hundred feet to the stream below.

Christopher and William racing from the lake to keep up with the group.

Of course Samuel was in his usual spot!

Old Man's Cave to Cedar Falls and Back

2009-04-15T08:56:00.004-04:00

On Holy Saturday I went out to a favorite local place to hike in the Hocking Hills. Luckily it had rained the night before so the falls were really rushing all day long. I hike about 7 miles in 2 hours, including picture taking time.

The Upper Falls at Old Man's Cave.

Old Man's Cave

The Old Man himself.

A view from atop the Lower Falls at Old Man's Cave.

The Lower Falls from a distance.

The Lower Falls.

A couple deer checking me out.

Whispering Falls between Old Man's Cave and Cedar Falls.

A view from the behind the falls.

A beautiful shot on the trail.

Cedar Falls

The Altar of Work, The Altar of Sacrifice

2009-03-30T13:17:00.006-04:00

This is part two in a series of articles about the adventures of those who participated in the expedition. Wilderness Outreach is part of the lay apostolate for advancing masculine spirituality that is funded by the John N. and Laura E. Bradford Donor advised fund of the Catholic Foundation.

By John and Laura Bradford

“They deliberated what might be done with the altar of holocausts that had been desecrated. The happy thought came to them to tear it down, lest it be a lasting shame to them that the Gentiles had defiled it; so they tore down the altar. They stored the stones in a suitable place on the temple hill, until a prophet should come and decide what to do with them. Then they took uncut stones, according to the law, and built a new altar like the former one.”

Macabees Chapter 4

The first and most important act that occurs during a Wilderness Outreach expedition is the locating of the sanctuary and building the altar on that spot. The location is picked because it feels right, it faces east and has a profound view. Then the work of building the Altar begins. It proceeds with minimal discussion and debate. Each man participates in finding logs or rocks to build this holy structure. Some materials are chosen, some are not. Sometimes some of the Altar is removed and re-built. It is a silent, respect-filled endeavor. This will be the altar of sacrifice, where for a week, the men will come to daily Mass after a long day of back-breaking work. The altar is where they offer their sacrifice of work and suffering and receive nourishment of the Body and Blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

And miracles do occur in the process of building this altar. During the trip to the High Sierras in 2007, the base of the altar had been laid….all individually selected, hand placed stones. The strongest men of the team had found a 400 pound stone for the Mensa, but the team could not lift it. They gave up to look for a less weighty stone. Justin Bennett, one of the youngest of the group, refused to give up on the stone, approached it and with the determination of a power lifter picked one end of the stone up to his waist. He challenged his brothers “C’mon men”!. With Justin’s urging the stone was lifted and then carried and placed on the foundation of the altar.

Another miracle occurred at Divide Lake in the Idaho Panhandle National Forest in August of 2008. After the men reached and set up base camp Father Coning announced that a place for the Sanctuary and the Altar was needed and it needed to be a spiritual place a place for God. Jeff McKenna’s eye was drawn to a ridge about 600 feet above the base camp. He petitioned the men one at a time. Some liked the idea, but others didn’t. It would mean climbing another 600 feet at the end each day of backbreaking trail work. Finally Jeff convinced all the men to walk up to the ridge top together and look at the site. When the men arrived together with Father it was obvious. Father announced “This is the location of our Sanctuary and where we will build the Altar”. It was a beautiful setting framed by lodge pole pines on the south, a rock knoll on the west (perfect for sanctuary seating), Bald Mountain on the north and view of 50 miles to the east. The next morning the men began building the Altar. On the way out of base camp it was discovered that Steve Petesch, of the US Forest Service, was Catholic and he was invited to help build Altar. Each man started searching for, carrying and placing rocks in the Altar. Steve went off to search for his stone. He spied a large flat stone. When he picked the stone up he realized that there was a biblical verse, John 3:17, written on the underside.

“For God sent not his Son into the world
to condemn the world
but that the world through Him
might be Saved”

Steve had found a stone that was written on by “The Shepherd” who roamed the mountains of Idaho, in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Most of the “Shepherd’s” Biblical rock paintings had been lost to the ravages of weather and time. The legend of the shepherd had actually placed him about 30 miles from this location. Could “The Shepherd” have ever imagined that his silent prayer and writing would someday be incorporated into an outdoor altar and sanctuary?
As is customary at the end of a Wilderness Outreach expedition, the altar was respectfully dismantled placing each stone back into its natural setting. Steve also returned the “Shepherd’s Rock” in the same place he found it, face down, protected and hidden from the elements but forever treasured in the hearts and memories of the Wilderness Outreach Idaho Band of Brothers.

The men of Wilderness Outreach are rocks of faith, they are the foundation upon which the church of the future is being built….with Christ as the cornerstone.

Wilderness Expedition Uncovers Inner Strength

2009-03-04T10:22:00.006-05:00

This is part one in a series of articles about the adventures of those who participated in the expedition. Wilderness Outreach is part of the lay apostolate for advancing masculine spirituality that is funded by the John N. and Laura E. Bradford Donor advised fund of the Catholic Foundation.

By John and Laura Bradford

As Father Bill Hahn Pastor of St Peter Chillicothe and St Mary Waverly parishes reclined in the 747 on his way to New Mexico, he closed his eyes and envisioned the retreat he was about to lead as chaplain. He knew it would be different from any other retreat. He would be in a remote part of the country, in the backwoods of the Gila National forest. He would be working along side young men rebuilding trails for the forest service. He would celebrate Mass out of doors, amidst God’s creation. He imagined himself, on the mountain, among cathedral-high trees, looking out across the landscape to see a better view of life, himself, and the future that God had in store for him. The weight of his backpack symbolized the weight of the responsibilities, concerns and distractions of everyday life, the weight that he longed to shed for 11 days so he could draw closer to Our Lord.

For those 11 days, Father Hahn and 9 men shed their inordinate attachments. To the busy life, to cell phones, to all of the amenities that we enjoy in the modern life such as delicious food, water from a tap, flush toilets. The asceticism may seem to extreme to many, but to these men it was essential to step away, like John the Baptist, to go into the wilderness and make straight the path of the Lord. It was essential for their spiritual growth.

The expedition began with 8 miles of trail that was blocked by fallen trees. The only way to get back in to the forest was to backpack and carry tents, sleeping bags and the hand tools and food and water that they would need to do the work for the US Forest Service. Not even horse packers could penetrate the forest at this location. So after being certified in cross cut sawing the men set off and hiked.

After two days of hiking and grueling work, Father Hahn felt the pain. Searing pain at his heal. A burning, raw type pain: “I found myself weak and vulnerable”, I was at a point that I could not hike or work. I felt like I, as a man, was letting down my band of brothers. I had to struggle with the masculine concept of self worth, of contributing to the team. What I thought was an obstacle was really a blessing. My desire was to work side by side these men, my brothers. However, through quiet listening in prayer I discerned that God’s work for me was to be Chaplain. That in order to sustain my brothers I had to remain in prayer and the only way God could get that through to me was to allow me to have these blisters. So, I became more open to God and through the work of the Holy Spirit I was able to serve Him and the men.

My band of brothers surrounded me with support and encouragement. They had an authentic spirituality that lifted me. And when I celebrated Mass I could feel their reverence. These men are moving quite far in their spiritual path and it was a privilege for me to be able to bring the sacraments to them in the wilderness.

Not every man or priest is designed for this experience, but if you are it gives you an opportunity to retreat to the mountains, to simplify life, to get away from the artificiality of the world, to be with a band of brothers, to be a spiritual father. It also helps you grow in your own masculinity. During seminary, you have a band of brothers that challenges you physically, intellectually, and spiritually. As a priest moves into the parish, the need for this camaraderie does not diminish.

This experience was a victory. The victory of staying back and not working and staying in prayer with our Lord. And that is why my tool is the cross, it is the tool of suffering, and a tool of joy…because it is from Christ that I received the grace to endeavor in His work.”

Father Hahn and 8 men from St. Paul’s outreach joined John Bradford on the second wilderness outreach expedition. Wilderness Outreach is part of the Lay Apostolate for advancing masculine spirituality that is funded by the John N. and Laura E. Bradford Donor advised fund of the Catholic Foundation

Clear Creek Hike 2/28/09

2009-03-02T13:26:00.006-05:00

I took off early on Saturday to hike at Clear Creek Metro Park about 15 minutes from my house. It's part of the Metro Park system but it's not a typicalmetro park in the midst of the city. It's about 45 mins SE of Columbus near the Hocking Hills. I did six miles touching on about 3 different interconnected trails. I plan on exploring more of the park soon. I like the orange sign on the left but I couldn't get a good shot because of the light. It read "Icy Conditions, Falling Trees, Trails are Extremely Hazardous." I said, "bring it on."

This is the beginning of the Hemlock Trail. Steep, rugged terrain was not an understatement. In wanders along the creek for about a quarter of a mile and then heads straight up the hill probably rising close to 700 feet in a half of a mile or shorter. I wasn't expecting that but I made it to the top...and rested, read, prayed, moved on....

This was along the Hemlock Trail. Simply amazing that a tree would be able to grow on top and around a rock like this.

I think a chipmunk was living here as the nuts were all over the ground below.

As I was hiking the Cemetery Ridge Trail I noticed the doe off to my right. I kept walking while getting my camera out. She stayed there and watched me as I snapped pictures. It wasn't until I got home that my son Christopher pointed out the other deer in the lower left corner. I never saw it when I was out there and I remember thinking that it was strange to see just one deer out alone.

This barn appears to have grown right in the middle of the forest. It's rather strange to be hiking for miles and not seeing much and then walk upon this building on the very top of the ridge in the woods.

As the sign (below) tells, it was part of the Williams farm back in the mid-1800s. The whole hilltop was at one time farm land with crops. Now it is a pretty dense forest. All that remains of the farm is this barn. It's humbling to me, for some reason, to know that this barn and many of the trees I am walking by were here long before I was and probably will be long after I am gone. Kind of puts life in perspective.

Stairs to the upper level of the barn.

All the timber was hand-hewn and connected with wooden pegs. They don't build stuff like this anymore.

I guess I posted these pictures a bit backward. This is Lena, the leaning rock near the entrance to the park. I can remember driving "under" this as a kid. It still impresses me.

I have a little bit of family connection to the park and the area. This is the house that my grandfather grew up in. My great-uncle Paul lives there now. It sets on 300 or so acres that I believe will be donated to the park system when he and his wife pass. My grandfather and father used to hunt and hike in these woods. I'll be glad to see it preserved rather than developed.

WAH Chapter 1 - An Adventure and On Wilderness

2009-02-27T05:19:00.000-05:00

Questions from Wild at Heart Field Manual Chapter One.

I'm convinced that adventure, with all its requisite danger and wildness, is a deeply spiritual longing written into the soul of man. Does that surprise you, hearing that adventure is a spiritual longing given to us by God?

It surprises me to hear someone say it but deep down inside I know its true. When I look at the wildness of creation I am convinced that it is part of the human experience. I think that just as man longs for Truth, Beauty, and Goodness, he also longs for adventure. It's the way we were made. I don't believe God set Adam in the garden expecting him to sit on his hands. He created all this to be lived in, to be explored - fill the earth and subdue it - he created it to be an adventure.

What were some of the "great adventures" you had - or dreamed of or read about - as a boy?

Man, where to begin! I remember that almost anything could be an adventure. I see this in my own boys too. As a boy the world appeared enormous. Our house was huge, in my eyes. Our 100' x 40' backyard was a jungle. The perspective, as a boy, made everything an adventure. So, whether I left the house or stayed in the backyard, it didn't matter. It was all adventure.

As I got older and was allowed to cross the street and all that the adventures grew. I mentioned the valley behind my friends house where we used to play war, go sled riding and such. My grandfathers barns were always huge adventures. We climb high into the hay-loft, near the top of the barn it seemed, and build forts out of the hay bales. The creek was like a river. We'd gather large sandstones and build a dam so that later in the day we could swim in the collected water. Everything was an adventure back then.

Describe an adventure you've had in more recent years, a time when you really came alive. What happened? What did it require of you?

It's been some time since this adventure but I'll never forget it. A friend and I decided we wanted to float, on inner-tubes (large tractor tubes), a length of the river that runs through our county. It took us two days to float it all. It was quite a challenge in certain parts of the first section because the water was so still. We had no way to really paddle the six or mile stretch.

On the second day, the real adventure began. Between our starting point and ending spot there was a section of nasty falls that was notorious for flipping canoes. It was dangerous because as the water fell over the rocks it created a dangerous undertow which could spin you underwater indefinitely. We decided to go for it anyway. With cut-off jeans, tennis shoes and a single strap on the tube we went headlong over the falls. We both made it through in one piece. In fact, we decided to pull out the tubes and walk back up to the other side of the falls and do it again.

After that, we dreamed of floating all the way to the Ohio River, then the Mississippi, but it never happened. I wish we would have at least floated to the Ohio. It would have been a great adventure.

Have you ever spent time in the outdoors? Did you enjoy it?

The only reason I got my driver's license was so that I could go squirrel hunting. I didn't care about girls or sports. I wanted to be out on my grandpa's land hunting or at least walking and exploring. I love the outdoors and would love to really get back to hunting and fishing. When I was in my early twenties I spent most of my summers in the Hocking River fishing.

Where do you most come alive?

To be honest, I don't know anymore. One of the things I most look forward to is the opening day of deer-gun season here in Ohio. I haven't actually shot a deer for many years now but I do love getting up early on opening day, sneaking out into the woods and sitting in the quiet. I love sitting there feeling the raw weather and using all of my senses, to the best of my ability, to be ready for my prey. I also love to be outside building things like the chicken coop, patio, etc. I like the hard work, the planning, the execution. I do like being outdoors.

Has the Spirit ever led you into the wilderness - a calling, or a haunting to just "get away from it all," get out into the wild? If he did so now, would you go?

I am hearing that call now and I am planning on going on a Wilderness Outreach Retreat this summer. It's not just a desire of mine to go but it feels more like it is my destiny to go. It's like God is calling me to meet Him there, He has something to say to me and He can only say it there. My greatest fear at this time is that something will happen to keep me from going because I know the enemy come to "kill, steal, and destroy."

Have you ever seen, in your desires or even in your fantasies, something "wild" (risky, adventurous, undomesticated) in your own heart?

Oh yeah! I have this one desire to go out in the middle of the woods with only a gallon of water and a Bible and spend 24 hours in one location alone. I plan on doing this someday soon. I always wanted to get a powered parachute and fly around.

Have you understood that wildness to be a good thing? Would like there to be a wildness about you?

I do believe that that wildness is a good thing. I wish I would let it come out a little more.

Come forward!

2009-02-24T06:04:00.004-05:00

I was in prayer this morning and God really read me the riot act, in a loving sort of way. I was asking why everything has to be so hard, "Is life really meant to be such a struggle? Can't I ever get a rest from temptation? Is this what life is all about, merely surviving rather than thriving? Why does there have to be so much suffering - physical, spiritual, emotional?"

In hearing the answers I felt a little bit like Job of old. "Jim", God says, "you write about an enemy. Do you expect that to go unanswered? You write about the battle, do you really expect a cease-fire? You write about the tricks of the devil and his lies, do you think he won't use your own words against you? Do you think that since you work hard to pray often that you will be exempt? No, you become a target! He would love to see you fall! It's not a Nerf cross I am asking you to carry. This isn't a game. There are no time-outs, cease-fires, or commercial breaks. This is the real deal. Wake up!"

After all of this He adds this little nugget from the beginning of today's first reading from Sirach - "My son, if you come forward to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for temptation." Temptation. I think the word temptation is the devil's own trick with words to lessen the reality behind the word. When most people hear the word temptation they think of cookies sitting on the counter. Not me. When I hear the word temptation I instantly think "attack". Not that I would rewrite the Bible but Sirach's warning hits a little bit harder with the word "attack" - "My son, if you come forward to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for attack." Has a different ring to it, doesn't it?

The whole second chapter of Sirach is a warning and an encouragement for us to stay close to God - "Set your heart right...Cleave to him...Trust in him...hope in him...prepare your hearts..." and on and on. It is really a great reading to ponder the day before Lent begins and perhaps all during Lent. Is God speaking these words to you? Is He calling you out? Will you answer? Will you come forward? We need you to! Your family needs you to come forward. Your friends need you to come forward. Read the rest of Sirach chapter 2 and then come forward. We need you in this battle.

1 My son, if you come forward to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for temptation.
2 Set your heart right and be steadfast, and do not be hasty in time of calamity.
3 Cleave to him and do not depart, that you may be honored at the end of your life.
4 Accept whatever is brought upon you, and in changes that humble you be patient.
5 For gold is tested in the fire, and acceptable men in the furnace of humiliation.
6 Trust in him, and he will help you; make your ways straight, and hope in him.
7 You who fear the Lord, wait for his mercy; and turn not aside, lest you fall.
8 You who fear the Lord, trust in him, and your reward will not fail;
9 you who fear the Lord, hope for good things, for everlasting joy and mercy.
10 Consider the ancient generations and see: who ever trusted in the Lord and was put to shame? Or who ever persevered in the fear of the Lord and was forsaken? Or who ever called upon him and was overlooked?
11 For the Lord is compassionate and merciful; he forgives sins and saves in time of affliction.
12 Woe to timid hearts and to slack hands, and to the sinner who walks along two ways!
13 Woe to the faint heart, for it has no trust! Therefore it will not be sheltered.
14 Woe to you who have lost your endurance! What will you do when the Lord punishes you?
15 Those who fear the Lord will not disobey his words, and those who love him will keep his ways.
16 Those who fear the Lord will seek his approval, and those who love him will be filled with the law.
17 Those who fear the Lord will prepare their hearts, and will humble themselves before him.
18 Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, but not into the hands of men; for as his majesty is, so also is his mercy.

Airplane Rock

2009-02-17T08:17:00.003-05:00

My brother and I both had President's Day off so we decided to hit the trails. Our original plan was to hike a short section of the Buckeye Trail. We hiked the original 6 miles in pretty quick time because about a third of it was on dirt roads. When we returned to the car we decided to hit another trail and see if we could find our way up to an area called Airplane Rock (pictures below). We hiked a total of 11.3 miles and I am feeling it today. It was a great time.

Father Hahn sitting on Airplane Rock (above and below)

Me!

A United Front

2009-02-16T05:09:00.003-05:00

I suppose this posting could be part 3 in a related series of posts. In part one I discussed the fact that You Have and Enemy. In part two I discussed his plan to Divide and Conquer (actually posted on my other blog). In this post I would like to discuss the real and urgent need for a United Front in order for us to make any gains for the Kingdom of God.

Imagine a platoon of soldiers working to try and take a hillside in order to advance the front and push back the enemy. These soldiers, however, are scattered all over the hillside. They have no communication with one another. They are each surrounded by numerous enemies. They cannot see one another through the fog of war. In their disorientating they often cannot tell whether they are going up or down the hill.

This picture or parable, in my mind, is a image of the modern Christian life. There is an army of Christian men in the world but they have very little communication with one another. The communication they do have is often shallow or superficial either due to circumstance in life or the plans of the enemy. Every Christian man is surrounded by an enemy. He, with the light of Christ, is a special target for the enemy because he can be seen more easily. In the fog of this spiritual war we often hurt one another through words or deeds without really intending to. We are often hurt by "friendly fire" if you will. Finally, Christian men today often do not have a clear sense of where they are going let alone where they should be leading others.

This confusion, this disarray, this lack of a united front makes us all easy targets for our common enemy. We appear to him, and perhaps to some in the world, silly at best. We preach a good sermon but when it comes to battle were cutting each other and ourselves with our sword.

Our culture, and remember who has control of this world, preaches this macho-man image. It screams from the movies, magazine, and books that to be a man one must be a loner. Think of Rambo, Die Hard, or Death Wish. This is a farce. How many battles have been won by a single man? How many of the wars in history were fought by a single person? Even David wasn't alone when he fought Goliath, he knew God was with him! Yes, many a battle turns on the actions of an individual but no battle is won, no war is won, alone.

I feel this is the greatest problem in our Church today. We do not have a united front. We don't have a united front on many different levels. This is what is needed in order for us to go forward and win these crucial battles against our enemy. Let's look at what a united front could look like in our parish and in our home.

Before looking at these two areas I suppose I should give some sort of definition to what I am referring to as a "united front." A united front implies a united goal, purpose, idea, tactics, implementation, etc. It means that every person, at least on the leadership level, is united in what is presented. This doesn't imply that we need a bunch of robots spewing out the same message. Rather the idea or theme is the same while the presentation is different in respect to each person's gifts or talents.

PARISH
It takes a great number of people to operate a parish. These may include the Pastor, Associate(s), and Deacon(s), secretary and other office personnel, religious education director, and maybe a school principal. Imagine if once a quarter all of these people met for a retreat. The goal of these quarterly retreats would be for the staff to grow spiritually and to plan for the coming months. This planning would include looking at both the liturgical calendar as well as the Sunday readings for the coming months or weeks. These items would be discussed and certain themes or messages would be drawn from them. Once the themes were established, the staff would consider the different ways each theme could be presented.

For instance, let's suppose that beginning with week X they saw that they Holy Spirit was guiding them toward talking about the need for frequent Confession in the life a Christian. Those with the duty of preaching would then gear their homilies toward encouraging Confession and perhaps offer extra Confession times for that week. The office staff would promote this through the bulletin and bulletin boards (examination of conscience inserts, CD's, websites, etc,). The religion director would make sure that materials were given to the adults and children to encourage Confession. The principal could do the same through their own means of communicating with the parents.

What happens here is that the parishioners see and hear a united message. The Sunday readings, homilies, inserts, and take-home literature all point to the same direction. There is a united front. There is leadership. There is support and encouragement in the Christian walk. This would naturally flow over into the family.

FAMILY
My wife and I try to meet once a month to discuss finance. We sit down with a beer, look at the spreadsheets, and talk about where we are heading. We make plans for our home and our money. We practice NFP so there too we meet and discuss not only the size of our family but our physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being.

We are united on so many fronts but not in the spiritual front. We pray the rosary as a family, when we remember. We pray at meals, go to Mass and all that but we don't have a set goal for the family. Even if we say our set goal is Heaven, we don't have a map on how to get there laid out for our family.

If we took a similar approach, as mentioned above for the parish, with our family, I believe we would see results. If we met once a month and discussed the readings, feast days, and liturgical calendar we would be able to see more clearly where God was guiding us. We could give each week or month a theme or focus for our family. We could focus on virtues, sacraments, prayers and more. We could work on coming up with activities for our family that would focus our attention on these themes and help us to be united in our spiritual life. We would have a united front.

This united front is so needed in our life today and I would encourge anyone who agrees to take up this idea and apply it their life and family. In my next post I will discuss how this united front is needed among men and couples and about the desperate need the Church has today for real community.

WAH Chapter 1 - A Battle To Fight

2009-02-13T06:03:00.004-05:00

Questions from Wild at Heart Field Manual Chapter One.

Remember back into your boyhood for a moment. Did you play games involving battles? Cowboys and Indians, perhaps, or maybe cops and robbers? What were they? What do your sons or grandsons love to play?

My friend down the street had a section of woods behind his house that we used to play in all the time. It was a ravine between the alley behind his house and a housing development. It was only about a half an acre but to all of us kids in the neighborhood it was a forest.

We would meet there often and have battles. One group would set up camp behind a large pine on one hill while the other would set up camp behind a fallen tree on the other. If we had guns, fine. If not, we made due with sticks, pine-cones, or whatever else we could grab. As we got older it moved to Laser-Tag and then paint-ball. There seemed to be constant battles raging in those woods.

My boys spend much of their time planning and executing battles. Whether they are re-enacting the arrest and Crucifixion, with much fighting and drama, or they are out in the fields pretending our house is Redwall Abbey from Redwall books, they are in a constant epic battle. I am often drawn into this battle either as a worthy foe or ally. More often I am the foe that the four work together to defeat. Sometimes, though, William will come to my aide and this throws everything out of wack and the battles begin in earnest.

Who did you love to be as a boy? Did you have a favorite outfit you wore? What was the "necessary equipment" - tangerine grenades, trash-can-lid shields?

I honestly can't remember any certain character that I loved to be or pretend to be. I do remember much of the equipment though. My dad had a workshop down in the basement of our home. I think I mentioned it before. It was a wonderland for a boy and probably cause to call children's services today! Not only were there huge power tools, knives, parts of guns and such, there was shotgun shell reloading material. Yes, even gunpowder. I hate to think of how much gunpowder we used. I'm glad we didn't blow ourselves up. We'd fill babyfood jars with gunpowder and take it out and pour it on the side walk and then work on lighting it with a magnifying glass. Scrap wood became guns and grenades as did spent shells that dad didn't want any more. There was nothing to compare to throwing one of those spent shells at the enemy. Here was something dangerous, something that had actually exploded at one time and we were given permission to use it.

And who were your boyhood heroes? An army man, an athlete, or maybe a cowboy, a superhero like Batman or Superman? Did they have a great battle to fight?

It seems silly to admit but most of my boyhood heroes were cartoons. No, not Tom and Jerry, although they did have some great moments. We'd never miss the Superfriends - Superman, Batman, The Wonder Twins and the like all together at the Hall of Justice just waiting for a battle. My brother Bill and I were really into G.I. Joe too. We collected all the figurines and vehicles. We also had many of the Star Wars items. I also liked to watch the Thundercats. They were these powerful cats -lions, etc., that did battle with evil.

Look back now at your favorite movies you jotted down. What is the hero's great battle? Which of those battles would you love to fight, if you were he.

I'm not going to go through every movie of course but the one that stands out to me at this point in my life is The Mission. The battle would be that of DeNiro's character as he battles the inner demons that plague him - his former life, killing his brother, etc. I'd love to have more strength and determination to fight those inner struggles against an unseen but more deadly foe than any superhero ever faced.

Now; this longing may have been submerged from years of neglect, and a man may not feel that he is up to the battles he knows await him. Or it may have taken a very dark turn, as it has with inner-city gangs. But the desire is there. Every man wants to play the hero. I find that many men have long buried their desire to be a hero. But isn't there something in you that wants to be applauded, cheered for what you've done? Do you like losing, for example or being dismissed? What debate would you love to win, what deal would love to land, what "big fish" would you love to catch, what hill would you love to take?

This is a tough question because, for me, there are different answers for different levels. On the worldly level I'd love to get a publishing deal for my rosary book. I'd love for a larger audience to recognize the work, be applauded, be celebrated for it. On the spiritual level I'd love to finally win the battle for purity of heart. I feel as though I have been fighting this battle for almost a quarter of a decade, and I have, with little ground gained.

Every man needs to know that he is powerful... What happens in you when you watch one of those powerful stories, when at the end of Braveheart the "starving and outnumbered" Scots rush the fields at Bannockburn and win their freedom, or when Maximus goes hand-to-hand with Commodus at the end of Gladiator? Is there anything in a great battle scene that stirs your heart? Can you sense something fierce down in there?

The battle scene that comes to mind and stirs my heart comes from The Two Towers (Lord of the Rings Trilogy). It appears that all of Middle Earth is about to be destroyed. Everyone is holed up at Helm's Deep and the forces of evil are coming hard and fast. The enemy is battering the door to strong hold and things are not looking good. At this time Aaragorn leads a group of men out onto the bridge to do battle and stop them from battering down the door. I love the courage that they show even in the face of what looks like certain doom. They are outnumbered, stuck in a corner but instead of cowering and running they charge. It makes my heart come alive and want to win the battle, any battle against any odds.

Sometimes our aggression has no place to play itself out, except maybe in sports or how we drive. Do you ever want to just slam-dunk something, knock something into kingdom come? Do you like it when people pass you on the highway, or beat you to a parking spot? Where does your aggressive side surface?

My aggression usually surfaces when I see what I perceive to be an injustice either to me or someone else. Yes, when some idiot does something stupid and dangerous on the highway I get angry and want to ram my car into them. I fantasize about tapping their bumper in such a way that they spin out of control. My aggression also surfaces for no reason that I can identify. Sometimes I just feel like hitting something just to get the energy out or going for a run or breaking something for no real reason that I know of other than just to do it.

Closer to home, what if a terrorist broke into your house tonight and threatened the lives of your wife and children - would you simply let it happen? If you were armed, would you use your weapon? Do you sense something fierce in your own heart now?

That's a great question because I often play in mind how I would react to someone breaking in in the middle of the night. I struggle with whether I should have the shotgun and shells in the bedroom closet. In my mind I would kick butt. Not only would I defend my home but I would make the idiot suffer unbelievably. Yes, there is something fierce down deep.

Have you ever been told such fierceness is a good thing?

No. I have never been told that it is okay to feel that fierceness. In fact, I would say that the opposite has been conveyed even if not in so many words. In my opinion, this fierceness is often put down, ridiculed, shamed for being barbaric. Yet it is the same people who do this that wonder why no one is there to defend them! I have never been told it is a good thing but correctly expressed I think it is an asset to the man and the world.

Almost

2009-02-09T11:23:00.004-05:00

I started watching Mel Gibson's Apocalypto the other night and I was struck by one particular scene. In this scene, the character Jaguar Paw is fighting to save his village and his father from the Mayans who are carrying everyone off for human sacrifice. His attempt to free his father from his captors fails but only after a valiant effort. In his sorrow, as the two men are being bound, he whispers to his father that he is sorry. The enemy hears this, and realizing that this is a father and son situation, decides to hurt the son in retaliation for pain endured during the battle.

The villain then stands the father up in front of the bound and kneeling son. The father says to his son, "don't be afraid." The enemy then slits the throat of the father and leaves him to die in front of his son. After the father has died, the enemy kneels down and whispers in the son's ear, "Almost. That is your new name, Almost." He is saying, "you almost saved him but didn't, you almost came through but you failed, almost but not quite is the story of your life."

If this isn't a picture of our spiritual life I don't know what is. We are beloved sons of the father. In fact, as Jaguar Paw was probably named for something his father saw in him, we too have a name given to us by God. We may know this name or we may not but regardless we have a special name given to us by Our Father. "To him who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone which no one knows except him who receives it." (Revelation 2:17)

However, the devil, the Father of lies, seeks to give us a new name too. He is always mocking God. When we fail, when we falter, when we despair he is there in an instant whispering a new name in our ear. These names given to us often haunt us all of our days. We can even begin to believe that it is our true name.

I can think of a few instances in my life where the devil has whispered a new name and now I struggle to cast that name off. These names may be hard for you, the reader, to understand but they are names I have been given nonetheless. The first of these names would be "shut up". Someone I love very dearly said this to me when I was about 5 or 6 and the devil was there in an instant, "shut up, yes, that is your new name. keep your mouth shut. no one wants to hear what you have to say. whatever it is, it's not important. shut up." I have struggled and continue to struggle with this name. There is a part of me that wants to keep everything inside and never speak again because the enemy told me that my name is Shut Up.

The other name, one among many now that I think of it, is related to the first "bad idea." When I was younger I used to have all of these ideas for go-carts, forts, etc., but no one would ever help me see them through, no one had the time but the devil told me it was my fault, "they have the time, your ideas are just stupid. don't share them because no one cares. you're an idea guy but all of your ideas are worthless. you are all alone so any idea you do have you will have to make it happen yourself." All of these whisperings could be new names in fact but Bad Idea was the one that stuck. There is a part of me that has so many ideas, many of them incredible, but I don't share them, rather, I hide them thinking they are bad.

The new name or names given to us by the enemy cast a sort of spell upon us. We see as in a fog and begin to live as though those names were our true name. They are not! God has given us a name and we must ask him what it is. He will tell us our true name, and if we embrace and believe that name, we will be set free from the shackles of the false names given to us. But it won't be easy, again, from the book of Revelation, "To him who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone which no one knows except him who receives it."

To him who conquers....that is the key. We must do battle. We must conquer. We must win back our hearts and God will reveal that new name. Is it really possible? Will God really come through and help me to cast off these false names? Yes, but we have to be willing to engage. We have to do battle because the enemy is not going to let go of your heart easily. The battle begins with prayer, self-sacrifice, penance, study, the sacraments, and rejecting "all his empty promises".

We cannot agree with the enemies whisperings. When he calls you by your false name you cannot agree with it. You must reject it, "I will not shut up when God needs me to talk. I will not keep my ideas to myself when my family depends on that creativity."

Like Jaguar Paw you have a real name given to you by your father. Find it and you will find your heart and purpose. Like the Mayans in the movie, the devil is after your heart and even now has his filthy hands upon it. Do battle, receive your true name, and rescue your heart.

You have an enemy.

2009-02-06T14:09:00.004-05:00

This is a re-post from my other blog. It applies especially well to our situation as men.

I heard the devil laugh this morning. No, it wasn't an audible send-chills-up-your-spine laugh. It was somewhere off in the distance of eternity. It was his, "why do you even bother", laugh. You know what I mean. It's the laugh you hear when a great revelation enters your heart and you want to share it with others and then, the devil tries to laugh you to scorn. He laughs and says, "nice thought, come up with that yourself? Do really think anyone will listen? Do you think they'll take you serious? Please, do yourself a favor and get a cup of coffee and read the Bible instead. Trust me, it will be less humiliating." I've learned to ignore that laugh and those taunts and have often paid a price for it.

Before some of you click on another link or jump to another blog let me explain to you that I am not crazy. I'm not hearing voices or taking medications. I have just recently come to a very serious realization that we would all do well to consider.

You and I have an enemy. Wait! Don't click away, I'm serious. You and I were born into the midst of a world at war. We have an enemy. How does that make you feel? Hopefully a little bit uncomfortable. All our lives we have been told that "God loves you", "Jesus loves you", "you are a beloved son or daughter." All of this is fine and good but it's only half the picture. You are loved more than you can ever imagine. However, you are also hated more than you can ever imagine. Not your typical CCD lesson is it?

Imagine a group of Marines that were told all during their training that they were special. During their training they learned how special they were, why they were special and how to live special lives. Now imagine them being sent into war. You get the picture! Not only have they not been told the workings of their enemy or the enemies goals and tactics, they haven't even been told they have an enemy. The perfect scenario for total disaster and loss of life.

Why do we not want to hear or accept this? The Bible, yes even the Gospel, no, especially the Gospel is filled with warnings, teachings, explanations, and tactics concerning our enemy. Were the demons Jesus cast out just quaint stories? Why do we skip over those in CCD? Jesus talks about the enemy over and over - "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy,...(John 10:10). Okay class, now let's make a collage about that passage! Next we'll make a felt picture about what Jesus means when he says, "An enemy hath done this" and "Satan immediately comes and takes away the word which is sown in them."

How can we or our children fight the battle for our very souls if we don't even recognize that we have an enemy? Okay, before you think I've watched Braveheart one too many times, take a look at Salvation history. Look at Genesis, the devil is after the human race by the third chapter. Look at Revelation, "Then the dragon became angry with the woman and went off to wage war against the rest of her offspring, those who keep God's commandments and bear witness to Jesus." (Revelation 12:17) Are you one of those offspring described? From the beginning to the end the enemy is present or as St. Peter puts it, "Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings." (1 Peter 5:8-9)

Are you awake yet? Are you sober and vigilant? Do you get the picture, soldier? We are at war. We have an enemy. We have to start living like it! What would happen if you started living as though you have an enemy? What would happen if the Church started really living like that? What would happen if all realized that we are under attack? I would like to say that we would fight and kick butt. However, this is a war and like a physical war we have to deal with not only the enemy but with our own wounded warriors as well. Many of whom are so wounded that they are dazed and confused, no longer accepting that they are in a war or worse yet, they are POWs.

We must wake up! We must fight! We must realize that we have an enemy and we are at war. If we don't, if we refuse to recognize that we are hated, we are lost. Does this mean that the turning of the battle rests solely on our shoulders? No, Christ is willing to fight for us and with us but will you invite Him to help, will you ask for His assistance in each skirmish if you don't even know you are at war? How can the Lord send in air strikes if He doesn't get the request? How could He ever get the request if His soldiers think they are on leave when they are in the midst of an epic battle? You get the idea.

Now, not everything that happens during the day is a bombing from our enemy. However, when things do happen that are not what we planned for, he's there in an instant. He is there saying, "See, if God really loved you He wouldn't have allowed this (car breakdown, sick child, marriage problems, etc) to happen. You can't trust God. You aren't loved.", and on and on and on. He is brilliant, crafty, unrelenting, and a professional. He took shots at Adam, Moses, David, and even Jesus. You and I are certainly not beyond his sights.

I know this sounds harsh but you have an enemy, you are hated. Get over it and let's get going. Prepare for battle - read scripture, make frequent recourse to the Sacraments, consult God often in prayer, learn the tactics of the enemy, and be sober and vigilant. Lift up your heads, O gates; rise up, you ancient portals, that the king of glory may enter. Who is this king of glory? The LORD, a mighty warrior, the LORD, mighty in battle. Psalm 24:7-8

Saint Paul Miki and Companions

2009-02-06T05:11:00.001-05:00

From an account of the martyrdom of Saint Paul Miki and his companions, by a contemporary writer

The crosses were set in place. Father Pasio and Father Rodriguez took turns encouraging the victims. Their steadfast behaviour was wonderful to see. The Father Bursar stood motionless, his eyes turned heavenward. Brother Martin gave thanks to God’s goodness by singing psalms. Again and again he repeated: “Into your hands, Lord, I entrust my life.” Brother Francis Branco also thanked God in a loud voice. Brother Gonsalvo in a very loud voice kept saying the Our Father and Hail Mary.

Our brother, Paul Miki, saw himself standing now in the noblest pulpit he had ever filled. To his “congregation” he began by proclaiming himself a Japanese and a Jesuit. He was dying for the Gospel he preached. He gave thanks to God for this wonderful blessing and he ended his “sermon” with these words: “As I come to this supreme moment of my life, I am sure none of you would suppose I want to deceive you. And so I tell you plainly: there is no way to be saved except the Christian way. My religion teaches me to pardon my enemies and all who have offended me. I do gladly pardon the Emperor and all who have sought my death. I beg them to seek baptism and be Christians themselves.”

Then he looked at his comrades and began to encourage them in their final struggle. Joy glowed in all their faces, and in Louis’ most of all. When a Christian in the crowd cried out to him that he would soon be in heaven, his hands, his whole body strained upward with such joy that every eye was fixed on him.

Anthony, hanging at Louis’ side, looked toward heaven and called upon the holy names – “Jesus, Mary!” He began to sing a psalm: “Praise the Lord, you children!” (He learned it in catechism class in Nagasaki. They take care there to teach the children some psalms to help them learn their catechism).

Others kept repeating “Jesus, Mary!” Their faces were serene. Some of them even took to urging the people standing by to live worthy Christian lives. In these and other ways they showed their readiness to die.

Then, according to Japanese custom, the four executioners began to unsheathe their spears. At this dreadful sight, all the Christians cried out, “Jesus, Mary!” And the storm of anguished weeping then rose to batter the very skies. The executioners killed them one by one. One thrust of the spear, then a second blow. It was over in a very short time.

Rambo Jesus

2009-02-05T09:58:00.003-05:00

Rambo Jesus by Fr. Andrew Trapp

Who doesn't enjoy a good action movie, especially the ones involving top-secret rescue missions? Some of my favorite scenes in these movies are the sequences showing the commandos preparing for battle: putting on their camouflage, greasing their faces with paint, and strapping weapon after weapon onto their bodies! Then, under cover of darkness, they set off stealthily into the jungle, to rescue prisoners of war from their evil captors.

Four thousand years ago, our heavenly Father quietly began preparations for a rescue operation of his own. Starting with the "yes" of one faithful man, Abraham, he planted a family tree that would soon blossom into an entire nation: the people of Israel. By the time of David, a thousand years after Abraham, Israel had become a powerful kingdom in its own right. And a thousand years after David, when everything was finally ready, God sent his Son into the midst of his chosen people. Like a commando from heaven, Jesus plunged bravely into this jungle of ours, on a mission to save us from sin and death.

We are like the prisoners in the rescue movies, held captive by bad guys in the middle of the jungle. Our prisons are small mud huts, with only the hard ground to sleep on. Our faces are emaciated with hunger, our clothes in tatters, and our bodies stained by mud and bruises. Suddenly one day there is great commotion in the camp, and before we even have time to realize what is going on, the doors of our prisons are flung open and blinding daylight is spilling in!

As our eyes adjust to the daylight, we see that it is Jesus, all decked out in battle gear and sweaty from fierce combat! Our hearts leap with joy as he cries out, "I have come to rescue you! I know you are weak, but I will support you. I know that you are hungry, but I will feed you. I know that you are broken, but I will heal your wounds. Come with me! I have defeated your enemies! Come with me! I will lead you to safety and freedom!"

Jesus has destroyed sin and death, breaking down the walls of our prison. Without his commando-like victory at Calvary, none of us could ever be saved. He is there, standing in the doorway, reaching down to pull us into the daylight. But sometimes, rather than grasping his hand, we decide we kind of like our mud huts. We like our lives the way they are, dirt and rags and bruises and all, so instead of following Jesus out of the hut we turn away from him and hold on even tighter to our cell walls.

Christmas is the celebration of the Lord's entrance into our jungle, to finally begin his great rescue mission. Perhaps as we start this new year we can reflect on what is keeping us from following Jesus. Maybe there is a family member or friend whom you refuse to forgive and reconcile with. Maybe you struggle with sinful weaknesses that are hurting your relationship with God or others. Maybe there are things in your life that are not bad in themselves, like career or hobby or sport, yet have become idols causing you to neglect your walk with Christ. What things are you clinging onto, while the Lord is standing at the door, beckoning you to freedom?---------* 2/5/09 by Father Andrew Trapp*

Past reflections online at http://www.saintfactory.com/

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Orthodox glad to claim Polamalu as one of their own

2009-02-01T13:27:00.002-05:00

Orthodox glad to claim Polamalu as one of their own.

WAH Chap 1 - Setting Out

2009-01-31T08:26:00.000-05:00

Questions from Wild at Heart Field Manual Chapter One.

Did the chapter validate anything about you? Did it give you a kind of permission? In what way?

It gave me permission to be who God created me to be. It gave me permission to go after my heart rather than simply push the wounds of my life aside and just going on wounded. It also helped me to see both ruggedness and beauty all around me. I have noticed that everything rugged is covered, in some way, with beauty. When I look out from a high cliff I see that the landscape is rugged, wild, massive but also very beautiful. When I look at a snow flake a see that it is sharp, rugged, dangerous but also very beautiful. I think God planned it that way othewise ruggedness, wildness, etc would be grotesque.

The chapter also reminded me that some of my fondest memories are those of adventure and being outdoors. I remember spending almost two summers in the river close to our town. I would put on shorts, old tennis shoes, and a hat and head to the river. I would walk/wade/swim for miles, fishing pole in hand catching fish and talking with tourists canoeing the river. Those were great times.

I hope you did watch one of your favorite films, and if youdid, what did it stir in you this time around?

This time I watched The Mission. It stirred up in me many different ideas and feelings. I was inspired but the missionary zeal of the priests even in the face of death. The opening scene shows a priest being martyred by being tied to a cross and left to float over a giant waterfall. I think that there is something in every Catholic man worth his salt that desires martyrdom. I was stirred by the inner strength of the missionaries as well as the character played by Robert DeNiro. His determination to make amends for the sin he committed is incredible. I also admire the fact that almost none of the other men try to pat him on the back and tell him not to worry about making reparation. They allow him to do this even if it means slowing their progress.

We need this sort of support in the Church today. We need to support each other in our valiant (although to the world crazy) zeal for faith, sorrow for sin, love for life. We don't need any more of this patting on the back and saying, "what you did wasn't really a sin. Here, have a beer and we'll just talk about it." No, what we need is accountability. We need a band of brothers who will say, "What you did was sinfull. Go to Confession and when you are done, let's think of a way to make reparation."

...I believe that the movies you loveare a clue to your heart, to what makes you come alive. So let's start there. Write down a handful of movies that have stirred your heart over the years.

Jeremiah Johnson, Life Is Beautiful, Schindler's List, The Mission, Red Dawn, The Patriot

And from those stories what roles, what heroes would you love to play? Who would you love to be in those movies?

Jerimiah Johnson as he conquers himself and the wilderness. The father in Life is Beautiful as he so creatively protects his son even offering his own life. Oskar Shindler as he risks his life to save others. Jeremy Irons' character in The Mission who is relentless in bringing about conversion to both the natives and the Spanish. Patrick Swayze's character as he leads a group of highschool students in a resistence militia against the invading Russian Army. Benjamin Martin in the Patriot as he rises to the occasion to lead others in defense of their land and country.

Another way tof getting below the surface, to real desires of our hearts, is to look at what we do with our free time. Set a man completely free, and simply watch what he does. Youll learn a lot. Let's say you have three months of vacation coming up, a sabbatical all to yourself, and plenty of cash to bankroll it. Where would you go? What would you do? What's your dream trip?

What I am about to write may seem extreme for some but it is a dream trip. Of course, since this is a dream, it could only take place if I were single. Not that I want to be but it wouldn't be fair to my wife to take this sort of trip. Perhaps a scaled down version would be possible when the kids get a bit older. Anyway, my brother told me of these firetowers out West where folks sometimes go. The deal is that you stay in these towers, months at a time, and watch for fires. The forest service packs in your food, etc on mules. You radio in an emergency or if there is a fire. I would love to spend three months in one of these towers writing, praying, and reading. That's my "dream trip", three months of solitude for prayer, study, and writing.

Looking back now at the movies you love, the roles you'd want to play, and your three month daydream, what does it tell you about your own heart? What are you made for?

In all of the roles that I chose and in my dream trip I see that both they and it are extraordinary and somewhat extreme. All of it involves some risk to my life. I see that I am made for adventure. I am made to go to the extreme either in nature as Jerimiah Johnson (or in the fire towers) or in human relations like Guido or Oskar Shindler in Life is Beautiful and Shindler's List.

A note from St. John Bosco

2009-01-31T05:04:00.000-05:00

A note from St. John Bosco that those who are fathers will do well to meditate upon.

First of all, if we wish to appear concerned about the true happiness of our foster children and if we would move them to fulfil their duties, you must never forget that you are taking the place of the parents of these beloved young people. I have always laboured lovingly for them, and carried out my priestly duties with zeal. And the whole Salesian society has done this with me.

My sons, in my long experience very often I had to be convinced of this great truth. It is easier to become angry than to restrain oneself, and to threaten a boy than to persuade him. Yes, indeed, it is more fitting to be persistent in punishing our own impatience and pride than to correct the boys. We must be firm but kind, and be patient with them.

I give you as a model the charity of Paul which he showed to his new converts. They often reduced him to tears and entreaties when he found them lacking docility and even opposing his loving efforts.

See that no one finds you motivated by impetuosity or willfulness. It is difficult to keep calm when administering punishment, but this must be done if we are to keep ourselves from showing off our authority or spilling out our anger.

Let us regard those boys over whom we have some authority as our own sons. Let us place ourselves in their service. Let us be ashamed to assume an attitude of superiority. Let us not rule over them except for the purpose of serving them better.

This was the method that Jesus used with the apostles. He put up with their ignorance and roughness and even their infidelity. He treated sinners with a kindness and affection that caused some to be shocked, others to be scandalised, and still others to hope for God’s mercy. And so he bade us to be gentle and humble of heart. They are our sons, and so in correcting their mistakes we must lay aside all anger and restrain it so firmly that it is extinguished entirely.

There must be no hostility in our minds, no contempt in our eyes, no insult on our lips. We must use mercy for the present and have hope for the future, as is fitting for true fathers who are eager for real correction and improvement.

In serious matters it is better to beg God humbly than to send forth a flood of words that will only offend the listeners and have no effect on those who are guilty

Not your usual sports and God story

2009-01-26T09:49:00.000-05:00

Not your usual sports and God story

WAH Chap 1 - Gut Reaction

2009-01-24T06:36:00.000-05:00

Questions from Wild at Heart Field Manual Chapter One.

You've read the first chapter in Wild at Heart - now dive me a gut reaction. What struck you? What stirred you, got your blood going? Did anything grab you, frustrate you, make you mad? What questions did it raise? Was there a major "aha!, " a revelation of some kind? What did it make you want to do? Don't bother to edit your thoughts here. And don't try to make them sound "spiritual" or "manly" or whatever. Just be honest.

My "gut reaction" is WOW. This totally validates my deep desires of adventure. It brings to life my longing for the outdoors. Memories of running through my grandfather's woods and exploring his 300 acres come vividly to mind.

I also thought of the adventures my brothers and I had as boys at our own home in town. The basement of our house was a boy's dream. There was dad's workshop with the smell of gunpowder and sawdust. He had a Shopsmith and loaded his own shotgun shells. There were cabinets in the workshop that led to secret places underneath the stairs that to us were passageways to another world. The backyard too seemed gigantic back then. We dug for treasure in the sandbox and climbed the dogwood beside the swingset.

While reading this chapter I thought of how wild we used to be, whether exploring, riding bikes, lighting firecrakers, we were wild and adventurous. Then I wondered where all of that went. I wondered why now I play everything safe. Everything is soft, planned, precise, and risk-free. Where did it all go I cry from somewhere in the depths. I was frustrated that I had given up my love for hunting, hiking, building, and the rest for softness. That's the only word that comes to mind, softness. As Eldredge says, "The masculine heart needs a place where nothing is prefabricated, modular, nonfat, zip lock, franchised, on-line, microwavable. Where there is room for the soul. Where, finally, the geography around us corresponds to the geography of our heart." (WAH page 5). I want ruggedness. Good natured, playful, strong, ruggedness back. Where did it go?

What did it make me want to do? Scream, then get away. It made me want to hike, buy a new compound bow and take up deer hunting again. It made me want to spend 24 hours alone in the woods with nothing but the Bible and a gallon of water. It made me want to go after my heart. It made me want to rescue my heart and that is what I fully plan to do! (with God's grace and guidance)

St. Vincent: Warrior in Christ

2009-01-22T15:37:00.000-05:00

Saint Vincent, deacon and martyr

To you, said the Apostle Paul, it has been granted for Christ, not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him.

Vincent had received both these gifts; he had received them, and he kept them. After all, if he had not received them, what would he have had? But he did have faithfulness in his words, he did have endurance in his sufferings.

So do not any of you be too self-assured when offering a word; do not be too confident in your own powers when suffering trials or temptations; because it is from him that we have the wisdom to speak good things wisely, from him the patience to endure bad things bravely.
Call to mind the Lord Christ warning and encouraging his disciples in the gospel; call to mind the king of martyrs equipping his troops with spiritual weapons, indicating the wars to be fought, lending assistance, promising rewards; first saying to his disciples, In this world you will have distress; then immediately adding words that would allay their terrors: But have confidence: I myself have vanquished the world.

So why should we be surprised, dearly beloved, if Vincent was victorious in him by whom the world was vanquished? In this world, he says, you will have distress; such that, even if it distresses, it cannot oppress you; even if it knocks you down, it cannot knock you out. The world mounts a double attack on the soldiers of Christ. It wheedles in order to lead them astray; but it also terrifies, in order to break them. Let us not be held fast by our own pleasures, let us not be terrified by someone else’s cruelty, and the world has been vanquished.

At each attack, Christ comes running to the defence, and the Christian is not vanquished. If, in this passion of Vincent’s, one only gave thought to human powers of endurance, it would begin to look unbelievable; but if one acknowledges divine power, it ceases even to be wonderful.
Such hideous cruelty was being unleashed on the martyr’s body, and such calm serenity was displayed in his voice; such harsh, savage punishments being applied to his limbs, but such assurance echoing in his words, that we would have imagined that in some marvellous way, while Vincent was suffering, that it was someone else and not the speaker that was being tortured.
And indeed, my dearest brethren, that is how it was; undoubtedly that is how it was: someone else was speaking. Christ, you see, promised even this to his witnesses in the gospel, when he was preparing them for this sort of contest. For he said: Do not think beforehand about how or what you are to speak. For it is not you that are speaking, but the Spirit of my Father who is speaking in you.

So the flesh was suffering, and the Spirit was speaking. And while the Spirit was speaking, not only was ungodliness being confounded and convicted, but weakness was even being strengthened and comforted.

This excerpt from a Semon (Sermo 276, 1-2: PL 38, 1256) by St. Augustine of Hippo on the Feast of St. Vincent, deacon and martyr, is used in the Roman Office of Readings for the liturgical memorial of St. Vincent on January 22.

Confession: The true Golden Compass

2009-01-22T13:22:00.001-05:00

On Saturday we will be celebrating our eldest son's First Confession. It is a joyful occasion that we are all looking forward to. For the first time he will experience the tender compassion of our God is a concrete, sacramental way.

This morning I was praying as I prepared for work and I asked God what sort of gift I should give Anthony for this event. I had been planning on going to the local Catholic bookstore to look for something, I don't know what. After I asked about the gift I simply heard, "a compass."

I thought for a moment that maybe I have been reading too much manly stuff lately and it was spilling over into my prayers. I thought it would be a good gift but, is it practical, will he use it, will it just get lost in the bottom of the toy box? I mean, after all he is only 7 years old. The answer was persistent. A Compass.

As I drove to work I asked again and the answer was the same. So, I detoured my path and stopped at Kmart to find a compass. As I pulled into the parking lot it dawned on me to ask, "why, why a compass?" The answer was simple. If you are lost, you need something that can point you in the right direction. Being in sin is the same as being lost. If you are in sin, you have lost your bearings and direction. Confession is the compass that can point you back in the right direction, toward True North, toward Christ. Once you go to Confession, you have your bearings back and you can continue on your journey toward Christ.

I bought a nice compass and then stopped at the Catholic bookstore for another gift that I know he will love too. It is a book by Andrew and Lenora Lang, The Book of Saints and Heroes and from glancing through it, it appears to be a book that will excite the heart and imagination of any boy. The cover alone is enough to excite a boy's heart! A compass to remind him to always follow Christ and have recourse to Confession, and a book about those men and women who used that compass often seem to me to be great gifts for this young boy entering the journey of a lifetime.

Kings under the King

2009-01-21T10:11:00.000-05:00

While hiking with my brother between Old Man's Cave and Cedar Falls I pointed to some high, sandstone cliffs above and to our left. I mentioned that when I see those and other similar rocky places I have this almost uncontrollable urge to climb up there. I have this urge to jump the trail and explore. The trail we are on is great, the sites are awesome, but there is something inside that says, "what's up there, what's off the trail, what can you discover?"

Men are born with that sense of adventure built in. Where would we be without it? We certainly wouldn't be on the International Space Station. We probably wouldn't be in North America. I'd venture to say that we, as a race, may not even be in existence if it weren't for that adventurous spirit that says, "I wonder, I'll bet, let's try" and so on.

Behind our house to the southwest is a small patch of woods that my boys are always begging to go explore no matter the season. To them, it's like going on a jungle adventure. They look for all sorts of treasures: turtles, sticks, skulls, and rocks. Even a pocket full of hickory nuts is booty to bring back to the castle. They follow the trails paved by the whitetail deer and the small stream might as well be a raging river. On another part of the property there is a sandstone ledge that is about 5 feet high that they love to visit. They climb up the face grabbing crevice and roots and slide back down the dirt bank on wet leaves. The adventurous spirit is built in.

What if we could use that God-given spirit for the Good, the True, and the Beautiful? What if we could raise up wild, adventurous, bold, brave, chivalrous, Godly men or become one ourselves? Would you try? Even if it meant unspeakable pain? Even if it meant struggle, failure, hardship, and testing like you have never experienced before?

If you are not willing, ask yourself why? Are you afraid? Christ says, "fear is useless." Are you weak? St. Paul says, "it is when I am weak that I am strong." My advice to you, "trust God." He can be trusted. He made you for this and He would never put you through anything above and beyond what you can handle, with His grace.

If you are willing, let's go. Let's start the adventure together. I'm no expert but I know the voice of God is calling us. He is calling men to reclaim their rightful heritage as kings under the King of Kings. There's a term to look at - King of Kings. There aren't too many kings left today so what is this title referring to other than the fact that we are those kings or at least we are destined to be, when we are ready. That is what Adam should have been.

The Catechism tells us that, "The anointing with sacred chrism, perfumed oil consecrated by the bishop, signifies the gift of the Holy Spirit to the newly baptized, who has become a Christian, that is, one "anointed" by the Holy Spirit, incorporated into Christ who is anointed priest, prophet, and king." (CCC 1242) He is the King of Kings. He is the King, we the kings. We are incorporated into Him and therefore we share in His priesthood, His prophetic office, and His kingship.

Our adventure, for the purpose of this blog, will begin with three things.

First, prayer. I would challenge you in some way to increase your prayer life. Go to Mass during the week, pray the rosary on Sunday with your family (if you have one) or alone, pray the Liturgy of the Hours (the official prayer of the Church.) In your prayer, talk to God as you talk to your very best friend in plain language and then listen, repeat, rinse (just making sure you're paying attention).

Second, get out. Go for a walk, work out, bike or something that gets the heart pumping a little bit. God never meant for us to sit and stare at this screen all day. We are a total package - body, mind and soul. The soul needs the prayers as much as the body needs the exercise and the other way round too. The mind comes next...

Third, read. As stated in the "about this blog" section, I'll be following both Wild at Heart
and The Way of the Wild Heart by John Eldredge as well as the companion journals. The other two essential books for this adventure are The Bible and the Catechism of the Catholic Church. The old adage is so true - garbage in, garbage out. If all we are reading is the newspaper, magazines, and the like our brains will turn to mush, or worse. Saint Paul says, "Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect." (Romans 12:2) We must be transformed. Rather, we must accept that this adventure will transform us and we must let it. The transformation will take place in the three areas listed above and in that transforming adventure we will learn to "discern what is the will of God". We will learn through prayer, physical transformation, and study how God wants us to rule our (His) kingdom.

I hope you stick with me, no, let's stick together for we cannot do this alone. We need each other and Him. Pray for me, I'll pray for you.

E5Men

2009-01-20T18:57:00.000-05:00

Would you be willing to make a sacrifice for your wife, girlfriend, or future wife? Would you be willing to make a heroic sacrifice? E5men gives you the opportunity to do just that through prayer and fasting. E5men fast once a month, the first Wednesday of the month, for their wives, girlfriends, or future spouse. Check it out and join the ranks of the e5men!

6 Mile Winter Hike

2009-01-20T13:40:00.001-05:00

Fr. Hahn and I left the house at 6:30 AM for our 6 mile winter hike. About two inches of snow had fallen overnight making the roads extremely difficult to travel. It took us an hour get to the park, drop his car at the ending point and drive back to Old Man's Cave where the journey would begin. We were the first on the road and thankfully there was little traffic. I saw two deer, one just about kissed my bumper. We also saw a fox on the drive to the starting location.

All of the tracks from the 44th Annual Winter Hike had just about disappeared beneath the new layer of snow. We began our trek at Old Man's Cave and hiked 3 miles to Cedar Falls (the spot I proposed to Nicole) and then another 3 miles to Ash Cave. The hike was beautiful, challenging, exhilarating and exhausting.

Here are some pictures from the journey with my comments beneath each. Click on the picture for a larger image.

This is a picture of the Lower Falls at Old Man's Cave. Since we have had sub-freezing temperatures for quite a while now the ice formations were spectacular. The falls here are basically frozen from top to bottom.

This is a stretch of valley between the Lower Falls and Cedar Falls. Fr. Hahn is on the left trying to leave me behind!

This spot is called Whispering Falls. During the spring and summer it is basically a marsh / swamp area. Here you can see ice mounds, common during this time of year, forming. The pointed one is about 15 feet tall.

This is Cedar Falls, frozen from top to bottom. The area in the foreground is usually a large pool but today it is a skating rink.

The center of this ice formation was the only place where water was flowing. When looking at the picture, the area in the center that looks like an ice grotto, is actually fast moving falls.

This is a view from the top of Ash Cave looking down at the ice formation.

Here is Fr. Hahn attempting to climb the ice.